Am I “bitter” towards my old denomination? No.

Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many. -Hebrews 12:15b, NLT When I went through my divorce from a cheater, my (now) former denomination required me to undergo an ecclesiastical trial (now altered in process) to retain my ministerial credentials. I succeeded in retaining my credentials as the … Continue reading “Am I “bitter” towards my old denomination? No.”

Anger fades with time and work

God is a just judge, And God is angry with the wicked every day. -Psalm 7:11, NKJV Anger is a healthy, godly response to adultery. I will say  that again: Anger is a healthy, godly response to adultery. When we do not feel angry over such injustice and wickedness, something is seriously wrong with our walk with the Lord. He is angry … Continue reading “Anger fades with time and work”

Mailbag: Are there physical judgments on cheaters?

DM, I really appreciate your blog, and I’m so glad I found it. You are a voice of reason in a wilderness of bad theology. You’d think people, including pastors, don’t actually read the Bible anymore. My question for you concerns other consequences that arise from adultery even though it was never properly addressed when … Continue reading “Mailbag: Are there physical judgments on cheaters?”

We all know it is quicksand…let’s address it then!

 But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. -Matthew 7:26, NLT We all know it is a sandy foundation. This is the truth of trying to rebuild a marriage with the infidelity left unaddressed or treated as a “minor” problem. The marriage … Continue reading “We all know it is quicksand…let’s address it then!”

Cheater’s “Grace” as “Cheap Grace”

…cheap grace — “the preaching of forgiveness without requiring repentance.” Cheap grace wrongly separates absolution of sin from acknowledgment of that sin. -Katelyn Beaty, “The Mistake Christians Made in Defending Bill O’Reilly Cheaters and “cheap grace” Beaty’s article takes aim at some prominent conservatives and evangelical leaders. In particular, her article exposes the hypocrisy of … Continue reading “Cheater’s “Grace” as “Cheap Grace””

Reminder to forgive really for whom?

 Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. -Romans 12:15, NKJV What astounds me about some Christians is how they believe they are helping faithful spouses by telling them that they must forgive their cheater. Most of us–faithful spouses–already understand forgiving our cheater is on the docket of things to do in … Continue reading “Reminder to forgive really for whom?”

Understanding forgiveness from Matthew 6:14-15

  One good thing that came out of my ex-wife’s adultery and my consequential divorce from her is that I know God’s Word much better than before particularly in regards to forgiveness and repentance. A lot of what I got from the Christian community was Matt 6:14-15: 14 For if you forgive other people when they … Continue reading “Understanding forgiveness from Matthew 6:14-15”

Inquiring Christian: Have you forgiven your ex?

“Have you forgiven your ex-wife?” -Inquiring Christian Let’s assume this person has not already passed judgment and condemned you as “bitter.” In other words, they are asking this question in good faith and out of genuine love for you. My response would be: What do you mean by “forgiven?” The answer to this question will … Continue reading “Inquiring Christian: Have you forgiven your ex?”

Spiritual trauma best addressed by faithful pastors

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. -Proverbs 17:22, NIV Much of the suffering faithful spouses experience is spiritual in nature. Writing this blog for a couple of years, the questions I encounter center around deep spiritual pain and confusion. These are not so much the nuts and … Continue reading “Spiritual trauma best addressed by faithful pastors”

Correcting cheap cheater forgiveness teachings

Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. -Matthew 5:23-24, NKJV “God forgives me. So what’s your problem?!” -Cheater Does … Continue reading “Correcting cheap cheater forgiveness teachings”