Cheater Marriage History Brain-Blender

Telling lies about others is as harmful as hitting them with an ax, wounding them with a sword, or shooting them with a sharp arrow. -Proverbs 25:18, NLT One of the many things that baffles me about the accepted Christian “wisdom” on healing marriages ravaged by adultery is how often pastors and counselors seem to … Continue reading “Cheater Marriage History Brain-Blender”

Bitter? Naw. Blessed, I am.

When things go sour with some commentators here on Divorce Minister, the person is quick to pull out the “bitter card” or suggest I need more time to heal. The funny thing about that sort of ad hominem (“to the man”) fallacious assault is how crazy it is. They have only a partial picture of who I am … Continue reading “Bitter? Naw. Blessed, I am.”

Yes, it happened. Yes, you didn’t deserve it.

Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. -Hebrews 13:4, NIV “Yes, it happened. She cheated on you. And yes, you didn’t deserve it. It’s not your fault.” You really want to help a faithful spouse. These are the sort … Continue reading “Yes, it happened. Yes, you didn’t deserve it.”

Holding The Tension On Divorce

  To the faithful you show yourself faithful,     to the blameless you show yourself blameless, to the pure you show yourself pure,     but to the devious you show yourself shrewd. You save the humble     but bring low those whose eyes are haughty. -Psalm 18:25-27, NIV A tension is present when it comes to the question … Continue reading “Holding The Tension On Divorce”

False Spiritual Safety

“Many will say to me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?’ And then will I profess unto them, ‘I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.’” -Matthew 7:22-23, KJV (quotation marks … Continue reading “False Spiritual Safety”

Better Divorced Than Damned!

“And I will come near to you to judgment; and I will be a swift witness against the sorcerers, and against the adulterers, and against false swearers, and against those that oppress the hireling in his wages, the widow, and the fatherless, and that turn aside the stranger from his right, and fear not me,” … Continue reading “Better Divorced Than Damned!”

3 Points For Christian Counselors – From A Christian Client Perspective

During my first marriage, my (now) ex and I attended counseling sessions from a variety of individuals. Some were okay and others were downright destructive. Today’s post is about three charges I wished all those “Christian” therapists would have grasped and honored. ***I am speaking not as a therapist, but rather as a pastor and faithful spouse … Continue reading “3 Points For Christian Counselors – From A Christian Client Perspective”

Protestantism, Forgiveness, and Failing Adultery Victims

So they sat down with him upon the ground seven days and seven nights, and none spake a word unto him: for they saw that his grief was very great. -Job 2:13, KJV Protestantism is big on sin and forgiveness. Emphasis on sin and forgiveness is pervasive through evangelical teaching and preaching. That is good. … Continue reading “Protestantism, Forgiveness, and Failing Adultery Victims”

Adultery is not a victimless “crime.”

You ask, “Why?” It is because the LORD is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. -Malachi 2:14, NIV By now, I bet most people have had to suffer through the public service announcement on … Continue reading “Adultery is not a victimless “crime.””