The Doormat Is NOT the High Ground

I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world. But now I am writing to you that you must not associate … Continue reading “The Doormat Is NOT the High Ground”

When Pastors Are Caught…

While I am not interested in shaming anyone or any denomination as I see such actions as detrimental to building the Church, I am interested in learning from difficult situations. Today, I am examining a public statement about two pastors caught in infidelity with each other. Chump Lady passed along this situation to me via … Continue reading “When Pastors Are Caught…”

So is my ex correct in saying that God forgives him, so it is all ok

Dear Divorce Minister,   My ex-husband, who has been having an affair for two years, tells me that he has prayed to God and everything is ok between him and God. He continues to go to Church each Sunday with our daughter (nobody there knows he has been committing adultery and I go to a … Continue reading “So is my ex correct in saying that God forgives him, so it is all ok”

You Don’t Have To Agree

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God,so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly … Continue reading “You Don’t Have To Agree”

True Reconciliation

“True reconciliation exposes the awfulness, the abuse, the hurt, the truth. It could even sometimes make things worse. It is a risky undertaking but in the end it is worthwhile, because in the end only an honest confrontation with reality can bring real healing. Superficial reconciliation can bring only superficial healing.” -Desmond Tutu Today’s quote … Continue reading “True Reconciliation”

No Friendship With Darkness

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? -2 Cor. 6:14, NIV I never understood the push to become friends with one’s ex-spouse following the adulterous end of a marriage. While I get how one might become friends after the adulterous … Continue reading “No Friendship With Darkness”

My Focus Is Souls and Holiness

While I dearly hope some of the tough love counsel I share here saves marriages, I do not see that as my job or calling. I am a pastor, and my calling is to feed the sheep. I am called to soul care. Marriages will not exist in the Heaven (Mt 22:30). But souls will. … Continue reading “My Focus Is Souls and Holiness”

Not A Submission Or Leadership Failure

“Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…” –Ephesians 5:23-24, NIV If you have spent anytime in an evangelical church of any sort, you likely have heard these verses read … Continue reading “Not A Submission Or Leadership Failure”

A Survey Alert From Chump Lady

Today, Chump Lady passed along a survey that an eager graduate student in psychology is doing on infidelity. Here is the link to Chump Lady’s post: http://chumplady.com/2014/07/forgiveness-troll-says-take-a-survey/ Below I am quoting from Chump Lady’s post where she agrees to take the survey and post it to her readership:   Then when I finished the survey, I … Continue reading “A Survey Alert From Chump Lady”