…and if you see him going the wrong direction, cry out and correct him. If there is true repentance on his part, forgive him. -Luke 17:3, TPT What I find interesting is how much advice is given to faithful spouses about forgiveness as if this is the hardest part–convincing faithful spouses of the importance of … Continue reading “Alluring Premature Forgiveness”
Category: Grief
Protest feelings
I remember vividly driving down one specific stretch of I-35 years ago in complete protest to what was happening. The feelings were surreal! Divorce wasn’t something that was to happen to me! I could not believe this was happening. And I SOOOO wanted the pain of it all to end. It hurt so bad. I … Continue reading “Protest feelings”
Golden Rule: Telling Other Partner
Do to others as you would like them to do to you. -Luke 6:31, NLT If you know someone is cheating on their spouse, do you tell the faithful spouse? In a word: YES!!! Now, that does not mean you have to tell them immediately. However, I figure the Golden Rule applies here. Would you … Continue reading “Golden Rule: Telling Other Partner”
The sun will shine on you, again!
Those who trust in the Lord are as secure as Mount Zion; they will not be defeated but will endure forever. -Psalm 125:1, NLT The sun will shine on you, again! I am convinced of this. The darkness of this awful season will not last forever–even if it feels otherwise right now. Things can and do get better sans … Continue reading “The sun will shine on you, again!”
Hard Holidays
Holidays can be hard! I just want to acknowledge that. This time of year can be difficult for those of us who are experiencing the traumatic ending of a marriage. They are seasons that bring the loses in focus. It is okay to be sad. It is okay to NOT be okay. Your feelings are … Continue reading “Hard Holidays”
Forgiveness does NOT undo trauma!
No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was. -Job 2:13b, NIV Forgiveness does NOT erase the effects of trauma! You can both forgive and still be revolted by your cheating spouse. The two are not mutually exclusive. I am annoyed with pastors and churches pushing traumatized faithful spouses … Continue reading “Forgiveness does NOT undo trauma!”
The unknowns suck
Not knowing when the cheating started happening, sucks!!! Maybe you know a general time frame? However, Cheaters are generally silent when it comes to giving you the details you so desire to regain a sense of clarity about what was happening over the months or years. It sucks. This is another loss among many when … Continue reading “The unknowns suck”
Grieving is complicated.
Grief hurts. It surprises even years after the loss. You might think you have “dealt with that” only to discover feelings ambush you at some surprise moment. Our culture does not do grief well. Churches can be especially bad on this number. This is particularly true as it comes to the grief associated with a … Continue reading “Grieving is complicated.”
Almost forgot anti-anniversary yesterday!
Yesterday was the anniversary to my divorce becoming final. I almost forgot. It was just another day. That said, I will never forget where I was the moment I received the official word that my first marriage was over. I was sitting in a van at work. Thankfully, I was not alone that day. The … Continue reading “Almost forgot anti-anniversary yesterday!”
Not “an easy way out”
Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? -Matthew 7:4, NKJV A faithful spouse choosing to divorce a cheater is not taking the “easy way out!” It is disgusting that a follower of Christ would ever suggest such a thing. They … Continue reading “Not “an easy way out””