It takes courage to open up one’s heart. For a while, I have been selective where I work and interact about to whom I have shared the part of my story where my first marriage ended. People sometimes react oddly to such disclosures. And not everyone needs to know. A common response that I have … Continue reading “Opening one’s heart takes courage”
Category: Grief
Privilege says, “Move on!”
“You need to move on,” says the Privileged. When something as traumatic as a surviving the adultery and divorce from a cheater happens, you are forever marked. Over time, I have found the scars fade. However, they will always be there. People pushing for one to “move on” are pushing denial of these scars. It … Continue reading “Privilege says, “Move on!””
Link to Sermon: Bildad or Barnabas?
Yesterday, I was the pulpit supply at a local church I call home, Destiny Church Rochester (MN). The theme of my sermon was how to be an effective encourager. I drew on passages from Job and Acts touching on difficult subjects of grief and forgiveness along the way. A key quote from my sermon: An … Continue reading “Link to Sermon: Bildad or Barnabas?”
It DOES get better!
My heart is sick, withered like grass, and I have lost my appetite. -Psalm 102:4, NLT Grief is very heavy in the initial stages of infidelity discovery. I remember having to tell myself to eat. My appetite had left me when I made the awful discovery. If my memory serves me correctly, I dropped about … Continue reading “It DOES get better!”
Holy Saturday Meditation
And so, because it was the day of preparation for the Jewish Passover and since the tomb was close at hand, they laid Jesus there. -John 19:42, NLT How were the Disciples feeling on the day after the execution of Jesus? Holy Saturday. I imagine a great deal of disbelief. The death of more than … Continue reading “Holy Saturday Meditation”
Good Friday Reminder–Jesus understands!
He was despised and rejected by men, a man of deep sorrows who was no stranger to suffering and grief. We hid our faces from him in disgust and considered him a nobody, not worthy of respect. -Isaiah 53:3, TPT During this Holy Week, I think it important to write a reminder about Jesus. This is a … Continue reading “Good Friday Reminder–Jesus understands!”
Why are you exhorting the faithful spouse to forgive?
Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. -Romans 12:15, NKJV What astounds me about some Christians is how they believe they are helping faithful spouses by telling them that they must forgive their cheater. Most of us–faithful spouses–already understand forgiving our cheater is on the docket of things to do in … Continue reading “Why are you exhorting the faithful spouse to forgive?”
Our spurned love
“Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were not willing.” -Matthew 23:37, NIV Spurned love. I find it hard to believe a faithful spouse never loved their cheater. … Continue reading “Our spurned love”
Letting go of bad relationships
If a man be found lying with a woman married to an husband, then they shall both of them die, both the man that lay with the woman, and the woman: so shalt thou put away evil from Israel. -Deuteronomy 22:22, KJV Sometimes we cling to other unhealthy relationships besides the relationship with our cheater. … Continue reading “Letting go of bad relationships”
PSA: No list!
Public Service Announcement (PSA): Do not send your cheater a list of reasons you want to remain married to them! Yes, I learned this one the hard way. Such a list only invites entitled contempt from the cheater. The last thing a cheater needs is someone stroking their ego. They already think they are awesome–even … Continue reading “PSA: No list!”