Grief is weird. It shows up on its own schedule. Sometimes, it blindsides you out of nowhere. Yesterday, I was driving through the campus of my old college where I had met my ex-wife. Suddenly, the wave of memories from my life there hit me. I cannot say what was specifically triggering the tears. But … Continue reading “Weirdness of grief”
Category: Grief
I sold the bedroom furniture.
“… Steve ‘sterilized’ his house, repainting inside and out, laying new carpets, hanging new pictures on the walls and buying new furniture. Others have burned photographs, thrown away clothes, and smashed personal belongings.” -Michael Fox, Ph.D., The Emotional Rape Syndrome, pp 22. I sold the bedroom furniture. Before I moved halfway across the country, I decided … Continue reading “I sold the bedroom furniture.”
Safe place to fall apart
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance…. -Ecclesiastes 3:4, KJV When a marriage ends, we need a space where we can be honest with our pain. Often times, that includes “the ugly cry.” I encourage you all to find a place where you can … Continue reading “Safe place to fall apart”
A problem not for a spouse to solve
21 Under three things the earth quakes, And under four, it cannot bear up: … 23 Under an unloved woman when she gets a husband, And a maidservant when she supplants her mistress. -Proverbs 30:21, 23, NASB (emphasis mine) I can still picture the moment… We had just moved into our first home we bought together, and … Continue reading “A problem not for a spouse to solve”
A decade of changes
A decade ago, I was about to depart to cross half the country for my residency in Chaplaincy. I had just discovered the Other Man who had been part of the picture for months prior to my knowledge. The summer of 2012 was a highly unpleasant summer for me. It felt hopeless, honestly. My marriage … Continue reading “A decade of changes”
Selected and wanted as a friend!
“Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me. You didn’t choose me. I chose you.” -John 15:15b-16a, NLT I think one of the most endearing part of owning a dog (or parrot, in my case) is how they demonstrate how much they choose and want you! In this, they are … Continue reading “Selected and wanted as a friend!”
Frustration of seeing the wicked prosper
In this life, good people are often treated as though they were wicked, and wicked people are often treated as though they were good. This is so meaningless! -Ecclesiastes 8:14b, NLT These words seem like they were written today and not as they were–i.e. thousands of years earlier! I bet many here can relate to … Continue reading “Frustration of seeing the wicked prosper”
Cry of many of Faithful Spouse’s heart
But I am poor and needy; Make haste to me, O God! You are my help and my deliverer; O Lord, do not delay. -Psalm 70:5, NKJV You take a real pounding when you are the faithful spouse. That pounding of losses feels relentless in the beginning of the discoveries. A major part of why we often stay stuck wanting … Continue reading “Cry of many of Faithful Spouse’s heart”
Would’ve been 16th Anniversary
Well, it is another would have been anniversary today. I thought I would feel sadder than I do today. It is odd how that first wedding feels like a lifetime away. The person involved seems like a different person than me–even though, I know that’s not true. This used to be a really hard day … Continue reading “Would’ve been 16th Anniversary”
Grief around the divorce
The obvious loss with the divorce is the end of the marriage. However, we all know this loss is merely the tip of the loss iceberg. If we relied upon our cheater’s income, we loose financial security. We all loose money and material things both to obtain a divorce plus to divide up the marriage … Continue reading “Grief around the divorce”