My tears have been my food day and night, While they continually say to me, “Where is your God?” -Psalm 42:3, NKJV A Traumatic Date Remembered Yesterday, I was doing some online work to see if I could get my student loans forgiven. Part of this process includes putting in your former employer and dates … Continue reading “A traumatic date remembered”
Category: Grief
That sickening, shocked feeling…
When even a cheater spouse announces divorce, the feeling can be devastating. I know that is how I felt when my ex made the announcement about seeing a divorce attorney. The loss of dreams, security, and future are incredible. It is not surprising such news can put a faithful spouse in shock. Shock is a … Continue reading “That sickening, shocked feeling…”
“That’s not a friend.”
“That’s not a friend,” says Father Terry. My divorce was fresh. Maybe I was still in the separation period. I am not sure. What I remember is talking with a colleague and mentor, Father Terry, who shared some simply but profound wisdom. After telling him about a “friend” who had essentially called me a deadbeat … Continue reading ““That’s not a friend.””
Dear 30 Year Old Self…
Dear 30 Year Old Self, It is going to be alright. Really, it is. I know that seems unlikely right now. Your world has been blown apart and the future seems bleak. Trust me: It gets better, much better! The chaplaincy internship that you are doing today will lead to a bright future for you. It … Continue reading “Dear 30 Year Old Self…”
Healing waters
And Elisha sent a messenger to him, saying, “Go and wash in the Jordan seven times, and your flesh shall be restored to you, and you shall be clean.” -2 Kings 5:10, NKJV Something about water brings healing. I am up at a cabin in Northern Minnesota writing these words today. Earlier today, I played with my daughter … Continue reading “Healing waters”
Reconciliation longing and biblical responses
“Jerusalem, Jerusalem, who kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to her! How often I wanted to gather your children together, the way a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were unwilling.” -Matthew 23:37, NASB Following adultery discovery, a major part of the traumatic experience is the loss of relationships … Continue reading “Reconciliation longing and biblical responses”
Dear DM: Do I participate in the Cheater’s Catholic annulment process?
Hi DM, This one is a doozy so bear with me. Long story short, I was married for 10 years to a guy I had known for 20 (grew up together). Thought we were happy in the marriage, before uncovering his infidelities (Ashley Madison accounts, hours of pornography each day, hidden Snapchat account where he … Continue reading “Dear DM: Do I participate in the Cheater’s Catholic annulment process?”
Did your cheater try to enlist others against you?
Did your cheater try to enlist others against you? One of the nastier aspects of dealing with a cheater is how they decimate (or attempt to decimate) your own support system. They may have even started this process of turning people against you well before you had a clue about the cheating. Some cheaters might … Continue reading “Did your cheater try to enlist others against you?”
And then they are nothing more than a footnote
I want to encourage those who are recent arrivals to this digital shore. It does get better. The sharp, intense emotional pain does lessen over time. Thoughts of your cheater become less and less as you heal. In fact, one day–I don’t know when it will be for you–you will wake up and spend a … Continue reading “And then they are nothing more than a footnote”
Three Key Points for Pastors on Adultery Situations
-3 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT ADULTERY- 1. ADULTERY IS SOUL RAPE! The Bible is clear about the principle about how a married couple is no longer two individuals in a spiritual sense but are actually one (see Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:6, I Corinthians 6:15-18, etc). Following from this oneness principle of marriage, any … Continue reading “Three Key Points for Pastors on Adultery Situations”