What just happened? You thought your spouse would never cheat on you. That was until you were faced with indisputable evidence to the contrary. It is a sucker punch to the gut. I think infidelity discovery is one the most disorienting experiences a human can have. The betrayal is soul deep. Depending on how long … Continue reading “What just happened?!”
Category: Grief
Oh, the stress!
My tears have been my food day and night, While they continually say to me, “Where is your God?” -Psalm 42:3, NKJV I remember going through a phase during my separation and divorce where I had to consciously remind myself to eat. The trauma from discovering the Other Man resulted in a twenty pound weight … Continue reading “Oh, the stress!”
The pain of the discard
He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain. Like one from whom people hide their faces he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.- -Isaiah 53:3, NIV The divorce discard is painful. Some cheaters cling to their marriage, and other cheaters complete the rejection by filing for divorce. … Continue reading “The pain of the discard”
When all seems lost, cling to God.
Some songs can invoke a time in our lives with just a few notes. This song, “You Won’t Relent,” by Misty Edwards does that for me. It transports me back to the immediate time after my divorce. The devastation of an unwanted divorce is incredible. I think this is especially true for those of us … Continue reading “When all seems lost, cling to God.”
That “bitter card” play
Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. – Hebrews 12:14-15, NIV I am suspicious of … Continue reading “That “bitter card” play”
A fantastic resource: Michael Card on lament
So often the church has lost sight of how important lament is. God wants our honesty. And sometimes all we can give God is our tears and protests of pain. The following series of YouTube videos linked below lay out a teaching by the Christian musician, Michael Card, on the topic of lament. It blessed … Continue reading “A fantastic resource: Michael Card on lament”
Other people are affected, too!
You must purge the evil from Israel. -Deuteronomy 22:22b, NIV Divorce and abandonment by a cheater impacts the whole community. This is not a private matter! I was reading an article the other night where the parents of a cheater is struggling with what to do with the lover. They really loved their (now former) … Continue reading “Other people are affected, too!”
If only I had learn this earlier, maybe I would still be married? Nah.
“If only I had learned to ____ quicker, my marriage might not have ended.” -Faithful Spouse Spinning While understandable, this sort of thinking is just another form of “The Shared Responsibility Lie.” The faithful spouse is sharing responsibility for the choices and sins of their ex-spouse. I hate to break the news, but we are … Continue reading “If only I had learn this earlier, maybe I would still be married? Nah.”
Recalibrating Expectations: Marriage resurrection is not the norm.
….but the angel said, “Don’t be alarmed. You are looking for Jesus of Nazareth, who was crucified. He isn’t here! He is risen from the dead! Look, this is where they laid his body.” -Mark 16:6, NLT Resurrection is unexpected. It is not how things normally go. This is in part why Jesus coming back from … Continue reading “Recalibrating Expectations: Marriage resurrection is not the norm.”
You cannot go back. You must go forward!
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. -Psalm 23:4, KJV You cannot go back. Time does not work that way. You cannot unknow what you now know. Knowledge does not work that … Continue reading “You cannot go back. You must go forward!”