9 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: 10 If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. -Ecclesiastes 4:11-12, NIV Sometimes, we are blessed to have mentors who become friends. I was … Continue reading “Missing my mentor and friend, Will Craig”
Category: Grief
Validation needs to come long before forgiveness talk
Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and nights. No one said a word to Job, for they saw that his suffering was too great for words. -Job 2:13, NLT Please do not underestimate how traumatic and disorienting discovering marital infidelity is! Speaking from my personal experience as well as from … Continue reading “Validation needs to come long before forgiveness talk”
Wish I would be invited to teach seminary students on adultery and divorce
If I could write my own ticket, I would teach a seminary class on helping adultery victims and holding cheaters accountable. -Included in this class would be a primer on how divorce is not always sin as well as how divorce can be a mercy to victims of infidelity. Anger and ire ought to be … Continue reading “Wish I would be invited to teach seminary students on adultery and divorce”
Good is coming!
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. -Romans 8:28, KJV I know this verse is twisted against faithful spouses all too often. Well-meaning yet hurtful Christians quote this verse at the traumatized faithful spouse as a means … Continue reading “Good is coming!”
Reminder: Better days ahead!
For the Lord your God is bringing you into a good land—a land with brooks, streams, and deep springs gushing out into the valleys and hills…. -Deuteronomy 8:7, NIV I remember the bad days. Sometimes, it was all I could do to remind myself to eat. I lost serious weight from the trauma of it all. … Continue reading “Reminder: Better days ahead!”
“Root of bitterness” manipulation
See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. Hebrews 12:15, NIV In order to avoid the discomfort of facing injustice and naming it as such, some Christians turn on faithful spouses calling them “bitter.” They are too spineless to … Continue reading ““Root of bitterness” manipulation”
When a cheater declines offer to rebuild marriage…
“Even if she cheated on me, I would still stay with her and try to make the marriage work,” says faithful spouse. “You’d just hold that over her head forever,” replies cheater apologist. When this is the mentality or response from the cheater side, you know the marriage is done. This sort of response exposes … Continue reading “When a cheater declines offer to rebuild marriage…”
Does get better!
He brought me forth also into a large place; he delivered me, because he delighted in me. -Psalm 18:19, KJV If you are like me, I wanted everything to just go back to how “it was” in the immediate adultery discovery and divorce. The pain was acute. The loneliness was palatable. The tragedy of a … Continue reading “Does get better!”
Thinking legacy.
And Samuel died; and all the Israelites were gathered together, and lamented him, and buried him in his house at Ramah. -I Samuel 25:1a, KJV When my maternal grandfather died, they shut down his small North Dakotan town to bury him. That’s the sort of impact I hope to have on those around me. I … Continue reading “Thinking legacy.”
Mailbag: How long will it take for me to recover?
Dear DM, Thank you for your blog and the articles in there. I recently stumbled across your blog because 2 weeks ago I discovered my husband having an affair (he has been having an affair for 4 months and only confessed because he got found out. If I had not found out it would have gone … Continue reading “Mailbag: How long will it take for me to recover?”