I can distinctly remember driving down a major highway back home wishing the pain to end. Part of me knew there was no going back to how things “were.” I still missed the fantasy, though. The ending of my marriage came with tremendous losses; this I knew in the deepest of places. I just wanted … Continue reading “Temptation of the fantasy “reconciliation””
Category: Grief
Do not take marriage advice from unrepentant cheaters!
Why do we take advice from an unrepentant cheater? I know I am not the only one who did. At least, I did this for a time. I opened myself up to her criticism as if she was qualified to identify “the problems.” This likely comes from a desperation to “save the marriage.” A solution … Continue reading “Do not take marriage advice from unrepentant cheaters!”
Discerning godly sorrow
Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. – 2 Cor. 7:10, NIV When you see the fruit of advice destroying someone or yourself, you are seeing something bringing death as this verse tells us. This is not from God. God is not one who came … Continue reading “Discerning godly sorrow”
Adultery, abortion, and divorce
I wonder. I wonder how many faithful fathers never got to meet their children. The cheater decided she rather abort than carry the child to term. I wonder. No statistics exist on this matter. So, I wonder. I am sure it happens. Cheaters are famous for dodging responsibility. A child is a huge responsibility. This … Continue reading “Adultery, abortion, and divorce”
Grief ambushes
I am worn out from my groaning. All night long I flood my bed with weeping and drench my couch with tears. -Psalm 6:6, NIV Yesterday, grief surprised me. This wasn’t grief over my first marriage. It was grief over a lost mentor and true friend. He died in a car accident last year. I … Continue reading “Grief ambushes”
3 Things Pastors Need To Know About Adultery
-3 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT ADULTERY- 1. ADULTERY IS SOUL RAPE! The Bible is clear about the principle about how a married couple is no longer two individuals in a spiritual sense but are actually one (see Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:6, I Corinthians 6:15-18, etc). Following from this oneness principle of marriage, any … Continue reading “3 Things Pastors Need To Know About Adultery”
Not pure evil and that is why it hurts so much!
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. -Genesis 1:27, KJV Divorcing a cheater would not hurt as much if she was pure evil. That is my opinion. I am not saying what she did was anything less than evil. That is pure … Continue reading “Not pure evil and that is why it hurts so much!”
On preferring “to be imagining things”
Discovering you spouse has been committing adultery is an incredibly traumatic experience. -You want to be wrong–even crazy is preferable to the real traumatic mess this actually is! -You want your world NOT to be upended and obliterated like it is. -In short, you want to wake up from this nightmare. This is grief and … Continue reading “On preferring “to be imagining things””
Wanted.
Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. -Ephesians 1:4, NLT I love the feeling of being “wanted” or “needed” by someone. It is the feeling of knowing your love and attention are welcomed and desired. How about you? I … Continue reading “Wanted.”
Community Fall Out
If a man be found lying with a woman married to an husband, then they shall both of them die, both the man that lay with the woman, and the woman: so shalt thou put away evil from Israel. -Deuteronomy 22:22, KJV Too often, adultery is treated as a private matter between the faithful … Continue reading “Community Fall Out”