Dear DM, Thank you for your blog and the articles in there. I recently stumbled across your blog because 2 weeks ago I discovered my husband having an affair (he has been having an affair for 4 months and only confessed because he got found out. If I had not found out it would have gone … Continue reading “Mailbag: How long will it take for me to recover?”
Category: Grief
DM, Am I going to be broken and defined by this forever?
Hi DM, A follow-up question for you. As a reference – I’m going through a divorce after my spouse entered into another affair (sex addict). During a support group, another person who had also experienced infidelity (who is still with their cheater) said, “This is going to scar you for the rest of your life. … Continue reading “DM, Am I going to be broken and defined by this forever?”
Grief: THAT day!
My tears have been my meat day and night, while they continually say unto me, Where is thy God? -Psalm 42:3, KJV Today is September 11th. I will never forget what happened nineteen years ago on this day while I was a freshman in college. The world changed that day. Two towers were taken down. … Continue reading “Grief: THAT day!”
Jen Hatmaker, famous Christian author and leader, announces her divorce
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. -Psalm 34:18, NIV Keep a close watch on how you live and on your teaching. Stay true to what is right for the sake of your own salvation and the salvation of those who hear you. -I Timothy 4:16, NLT Jen Hatmaker is … Continue reading “Jen Hatmaker, famous Christian author and leader, announces her divorce”
Did you love her?
“Did you ever love her?” OR “Did you ever love him?” This is such a simply stated question. However, it is far from simple when applied to a cheater. Looking back on the marriage and how it ended, it is complicated. How can you say you ever loved someone who revealed they were utterly different … Continue reading “Did you love her?”
Will you let your desert experience steal your song?
His wife said to him, “Are you still maintaining your integrity? Curse God and die!” -Job 2:9, NIV These words were uttered by a woman who had just suffered catastrophic loss with her husband, Job. They had loss their considerable wealth, servants, their children, and even Job’s own health. It was bleak. When faced with great … Continue reading “Will you let your desert experience steal your song?”
Today would have been our 14th anniversary
Fourteen years ago today, I married my cheater. It feels like a lifetime ago. We were young and naive. At least, I was naive. The experience of marrying a cheater took away a lot of my innocence and naivete. Honestly, it equipped me for my work today–i.e. working in a prison with manipulative individuals. God … Continue reading “Today would have been our 14th anniversary”
My mistake in re-engaging
The Other Man was discovered. I wrote a letter to my (then) wife letting her know I would not tolerate her cheating anymore. She could either choose to work to prove to me that her cheating days were over, or she could expect me to terminate my relationship–friendship included–with her permanently. Obviously, she chose the … Continue reading “My mistake in re-engaging”
On envying cheater prosperity
There is something else meaningless that occurs on earth: the righteous who get what the wicked deserve, and the wicked who get what the righteous deserve. This too, I say, is meaningless. -Ecclesiastes 8:14, NIV The observation of the wicked prospering while the righteous are punished is not a new one. That is what this … Continue reading “On envying cheater prosperity”
Expect to lose some “friends”
You know that everyone in the province of Asia has deserted me, including Phygelus and Hermogenes. -2 Timothy 1:15, NIV Not all your “friends” before the infidelity discovery will remain your friends afterwards. This is a hard truth to accept. Yet it is a reality best accepted to avoid further heartache. I think this is one of … Continue reading “Expect to lose some “friends””