Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and nights. No one said a word to Job, for they saw that his suffering was too great for words. -Job 2:13, NIV Just as the wedding day is a family event, the adultery discovery and divorce are felt by the same family as … Continue reading “More than the individual spouse harmed!”
Category: Grief
Faithful spouses, God cries with you, too!
“God Weeps Too” by Eli–an obscure Christian artist from the 90s–is one of my favorite songs. While he does not name situations of infidelity survival, I love how he names God as one who weeps alongside the broken-hearted. This understanding of God coming alongside like a good parent or friend was important for me to … Continue reading “Faithful spouses, God cries with you, too!”
Another Anniversary
Today marks what would have been the thirteenth wedding anniversary with my first wife. Sometimes, this date passes without notice for me. Not this year, I had a rough weekend on the way to this anniversary. I cannot explain why in particular. That is how grief works. We do not dictate what we feel. Our … Continue reading “Another Anniversary”
Funny thing about grief…
The “funny” thing about grief is it has its own timetable. You might have thought you were “done” grieving your losses. In fact, you might actually be happy–cognitively–about being done with a crazy-acting cheater. Yet your head does not dictate this process. The heart has a way of getting its way. You cannot out run … Continue reading “Funny thing about grief…”
“Associated Losses” and Grieving the Divorce
The obvious loss with the divorce is the end of the marriage. However, we all know this loss is merely the tip of the loss iceberg. If we relied upon our cheater’s income, we loose financial security. We all loose money and material things both to obtain a divorce plus to divide up the marriage … Continue reading ““Associated Losses” and Grieving the Divorce”
Quick Update Re: Joshua Harris of “I KISSED DATING GOODBYE” book fame
Joshua Harris announced his “separation” from his wife recently. I did a post on that here. He has recently followed that announcement with two big pieces of news in another Instagram post: 1. The “separation” announcement was a divorce announcement according to Harris himself. He writes, “My heart is full of gratitude. I wish you … Continue reading “Quick Update Re: Joshua Harris of “I KISSED DATING GOODBYE” book fame”
That feeling…
When a spouse announces divorce, the feeling can be devastating. I know that is how I felt when my ex made the announcement about seeing a divorce attorney. The loss of dreams, security, and future are incredible. It is not surprising such news can put a faithful spouse in shock. Shock is a normal grief … Continue reading “That feeling…”
Gaining peace
…”I said about them, ‘They wander in their hearts just like they do with their feet, and they refuse to learn my ways.’My heart grieved over them so I decreed: ‘They will never enter into the calming rest of my Spirit!’ ” -Hebrews 3:10b-11, TPT While it might not feel like it initially, divorcing a cheater can lead … Continue reading “Gaining peace”
Like a healed broken bone in a weather change…
While I would never willing give up what I have with Mrs. DM and Munchkin, I sometimes feel the pain of what was lost with my ex-wife. This is grief talking. What I often tell my patients is not to judge our feelings. They are not good or bad. Feelings just are. We get into trouble … Continue reading “Like a healed broken bone in a weather change…”
Dear DM, My wife says that she deserves to be happy.
Dear Divorce Minister, I am separated from my wife. She left me and our boys, age 12, on November 2nd 2018. She said she was stressed dealing with one of our sons who has ADHD and ODD. At first, it was a 30 day separation and I was a good dad, husband, provider, etc. She … Continue reading “Dear DM, My wife says that she deserves to be happy.”