We would have celebrated our twelfth wedding anniversary today… Whatever people say about healing and “moving on,” I am a firm believer a piece of you is forever lost. You never “get over” losing a precious piece of your soul. I am SOOO thankful for Mrs. DM and Munchkin! And… I feel the pain of … Continue reading “Number 12 – Another Negative Anniversary”
Category: Grief
“I care for you” but…
The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. -Proverbs 12:18, NIV I care about you BUT not enough… …to end my friendship with the adulterous spouse until she repents. My thoughts: “Sorry, your concern for me sounds skin deep. Scripture is clear that a person who … Continue reading ““I care for you” but…”
A frustration with some Christian mental health providers
“If another believer sins, rebuke that person; then if there is repentance, forgive.” -Luke 17:3b, NLT Rebuke, repentance, THEN AND ONLY THEN, forgiveness is to be offered. This is the order Jesus Himself gave us for godly forgiveness. However, this is usually NOT the order presented to faithful spouses or Christians in other traumatic situations. … Continue reading “A frustration with some Christian mental health providers”
Dang old memories…
Grief comes in waves. It ambushes you sometimes from nowhere. I was collecting pictures for an old friend who knew me in my previously married state. In fact, he was the best man at that wedding–i.e. the wedding where I married my cheater. So, it is not surprising the review of those photos brought back … Continue reading “Dang old memories…”
Validation, What a gift!
Whether it is validation through evidence or validation from another human being who sees the real injustice and names it as such, validation is a precious gift. I truly believe such validation is necessary for healing from adultery and abandonment. We need to be seen. Our pain needs to matter to someone, which includes ourselves. … Continue reading “Validation, What a gift!”
Mailbag: How does somebody just fall out of love with someone?
Hello, I’ve read a few of your articles and it helped me a lot. My ex-wife cheated and left me for another man. It was the most devastating thing I’ve ever been through. We were together for 19 years and this all happened in just the last three months or so of our marriage. We … Continue reading “Mailbag: How does somebody just fall out of love with someone?”
That reconciliation longing…
“Jerusalem, Jerusalem, who kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to her! How often I wanted to gather your children together, the way a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were unwilling.” -Matthew 23:37, NASB Following adultery discovery, a major part of the traumatic experience is the loss of relationships … Continue reading “That reconciliation longing…”
Surreal Grief
I wrote this a few years ago reflecting on a college reunion. Today, I thankfully feel less entwined with those contrasting feelings since I have been back to the city of my alma mater a few more times with Mrs. DM. Obviously, a version of this post ran previously. This weekend happens to be … Continue reading “Surreal Grief”
Cheaters, Churches, and Christianity
I can hardly believe the report about the sexual immorality going on among you—something that even pagans don’t do. I am told that a man in your church is living in sin with his stepmother. You are so proud of yourselves, but you should be mourning in sorrow and shame. And you should remove this man … Continue reading “Cheaters, Churches, and Christianity”
The Bitter Card
Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. – Hebrews 12:14-15, NIV I am suspicious of … Continue reading “The Bitter Card”