Counting Wedding Anniversaries

Today, I was at a training where grief was discussed. The speaker brought up the example of a mother who lost a child. She mentioned how the milestones of her friends’ kids may elicit pain for that individual. A light bulb went off in my head when she provided that example. This is not unlike … Continue reading “Counting Wedding Anniversaries”

The Public Relations “War”

In a lawsuit the first to speak seems right,     until someone comes forward and cross-examines. -Proverbs 18:17, NIV Stories are powerful. They give hope in hopeless places. And they can crush the spirit as well. Stories are well known as effective manipulation tools. Despots the world around recognized this and engage in promoting propaganda for … Continue reading “The Public Relations “War””

Blake Shelton, Miranda Lambert, and AWFUL “Christian” Infidelity Advice!

Country music star, Blake Shelton, made news recently with a tweet throwing shade at Miranda Lambert, his ex-wife. He tweeted: Been taking the high road for a long time.. I almost gave up. But I can finally see something on the horizon up there!! Wait!! Could it be?! Yep!! It’s karma!! 6:58 AM – 25 … Continue reading “Blake Shelton, Miranda Lambert, and AWFUL “Christian” Infidelity Advice!”

On curing a bad case of “The If-Onlys”

If only… …I had lost that weight. …landed that well-paying job. …spent more time at home than working. …initiated sex more. …wore sexier underwear. …was a better listener. If only…if only…if only… When you are stuck in “the if onlys,” you are stuck in trying to control something that is outside of your control–namely, the … Continue reading “On curing a bad case of “The If-Onlys””

Lock the doors, grieve the loss, and don’t be a jerk!

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit.”  -Psalm 34:18, NASB   Metaphors, while being imperfect approximations, often can help us grasp difficult and complex truths conveying both intellectual and emotional freight with vivid imagery. Here’s my shot on explaining by metaphor why focusing on forgiveness first after adultery is cruel: Imagine … Continue reading “Lock the doors, grieve the loss, and don’t be a jerk!”

“I’m concerned.” Others judging faithful spouses.

“Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.”  -Matthew 7:1-2, KJV A common annoyance I encounter–and suspect other faithful spouses encounter as well–are Christians giving their unsolicited assessment of my state of healing. They … Continue reading ““I’m concerned.” Others judging faithful spouses.”

Helping The Broken-Hearted Betrayed Spouse

A Christian brother comes over one night. He crumples onto your couch tears overflowing. Through his heaving sobs, you learn his wife has left him and is having sex with another man. The hollow and desperate look in his eyes tears at your heart. What can you do? I will start with the negative first. These dangerous responses … Continue reading “Helping The Broken-Hearted Betrayed Spouse”

Want to really help someone move on? Acknowledge the injustice.

Want to really help a faithful spouse “move on” from being cheated on? Acknowledge the very real injustices they have experienced. Christians who are so fearful of faithful spouses “getting stuck in victimhood” fail to recognize this important lesson. They fail to see that the healing cannot begin without first seeing the wound for what … Continue reading “Want to really help someone move on? Acknowledge the injustice.”