Mailbag: This weekend I had a conversation with a Christian “friend”…

Michael wrote: This weekend I had a conversation with a Christian friend that really bothered me.  It’s days later and I’m still bothered, hurt by his comments.  Long story short, we got onto the topic of my divorce.  Normally, I avoid this topic with this specific person.  He is the one who told me about … Continue reading “Mailbag: This weekend I had a conversation with a Christian “friend”…”

Mismatched Values

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? -2 Corinthians 6:14, KJV Whether one is abandoned or cheated on or both, the reality for faithful spouses is as stark as this verse from 2 Corinthians paints it. Light cannot fellowship with … Continue reading “Mismatched Values”

Others can be wrong. Let them!

Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! -Isaiah 5:20, KJV Part of the injustice faithful spouses often experience is a community of people–even confessing Christians–who will not accept what happened or do and then … Continue reading “Others can be wrong. Let them!”

Signs of Real Repentance

And Zacchaeus stood, and said unto the Lord; “Behold, Lord, the half of my goods I give to the poor; and if I have taken any thing from any man by false accusation, I restore him fourfold.” -Luke 19:8, KJV (quotation marks added) So, you think your cheater has hit rock bottom and is truly … Continue reading “Signs of Real Repentance”

“What did you learn?” Crosses A Line

So they sat down with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his grief was very great. -Job 2:13, NKJV I remember being asked a form of the question so often asked of faithful spouses. We are asked, “What did you … Continue reading ““What did you learn?” Crosses A Line”

Pastor to Faithful Spouse

It is no longer a matter of speculation: Your spouse has admitted to cheating. Besides you have the evidence of this awful truth going back months–or even years–in your hands. The world has stopped, and you are in shock. You think, “This sort of thing happens to other people. Not us!” How might a pastor help … Continue reading “Pastor to Faithful Spouse”

Flaky Forgiveness Trivializes Trauma!

They dress the wound of my people     as though it were not serious. ‘Peace, peace,’ they say,     when there is no peace. Jeremiah 6:14, NIV Unconditional forgiveness pushers are like the people mentioned here in Jeremiah 6:14 treating gaping wounds with boo-boo kisses.  Either they do not know the first thing about dealing with the … Continue reading “Flaky Forgiveness Trivializes Trauma!”

When it is not up to you…

“Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were not willing.” -Matthew 23:37, NIV An injustice faithful spouses experience when divorce is on the table is being blamed for … Continue reading “When it is not up to you…”