Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. -Hebrews 13:4, NIV “Yes, it happened. She cheated on you. And yes, you didn’t deserve it. It’s not your fault.” You really want to help a faithful spouse. These are the sort … Continue reading “Yes, it happened. Yes, you didn’t deserve it.”
Category: Grief
3 Points For Christian Counselors – From A Christian Client Perspective
During my first marriage, my (now) ex and I attended counseling sessions from a variety of individuals. Some were okay and others were downright destructive. Today’s post is about three charges I wished all those “Christian” therapists would have grasped and honored. ***I am speaking not as a therapist, but rather as a pastor and faithful spouse … Continue reading “3 Points For Christian Counselors – From A Christian Client Perspective”
Actions, actions, actions!
Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right. -Proverbs 20:11, KJV Reality can be a slippery thing to grasp sometimes. Nowhere is this more evident than coming to terms with the actual person one has married upon discovery of infidelity. The temptation is to ignore the … Continue reading “Actions, actions, actions!”
THOSE “Friends”
If a man is found sleeping with another man’s wife, both must die. Purge that evil from Israel. -Deuteronomy 22:22, The Message (emphasis mine) Those “friends” One of the most difficult lessons I learned from discovering my first wife’s adultery and going through divorce is that it is okay–in fact, good–to have deal-breakers in friendships. … Continue reading “THOSE “Friends””
Protestantism, Forgiveness, and Failing Adultery Victims
So they sat down with him upon the ground seven days and seven nights, and none spake a word unto him: for they saw that his grief was very great. -Job 2:13, KJV Protestantism is big on sin and forgiveness. Emphasis on sin and forgiveness is pervasive through evangelical teaching and preaching. That is good. … Continue reading “Protestantism, Forgiveness, and Failing Adultery Victims”
Feeding False Hope In “Reconciliation”
Sharing only testimonies of reconciled and restored marriages following adultery… feeds false hope in “reconciliation” for faithful spouses dealing with unrepentant cheaters. Show of hands. How many here thought their marriage was going to “make it” and then you would have a testimony about marriage reconciliation to share with others? I know I did. The … Continue reading “Feeding False Hope In “Reconciliation””
Where are the godly divorced testimonies?
Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly. -Matthew 1:19, NIV And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; … Continue reading “Where are the godly divorced testimonies?”
Ruby Slippers
I met with someone down the hall today and discovered that she went through divorce after 29 years of marriage to an emotionally abusive husband. For her healing process she journaled in the form of poems. Though her goal was her own healing and not publication her poems got published in 2008, with the help from … Continue reading “Ruby Slippers”
Cheater-speak: “I’m careful not to bad-mouth you.”
Now the serpent was more cunning than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. -Genesis 3:1a, NKJV “I’m careful not to bad-mouth you to your friends and family,” says the cheater. This is another tactic by the cheater to control the narrative of the marriage and manage their image. They want the … Continue reading “Cheater-speak: “I’m careful not to bad-mouth you.””
Two Common Christian Mistakes
Eliphaz replying to Job– “Consider now: Who, being innocent, has ever perished? Where were the upright ever destroyed? As I have observed, those who plow evil and those who sow trouble reap it.” -Job 4:7-8, NIV As I have blogged for closing on two years regarding infidelity and how Christians respond to faithful spouses, I … Continue reading “Two Common Christian Mistakes”