Forgive the corny Oldies reference here. I grew up listening to this sort of music as a kid, and I could not help but think of the opening line when processing this–albeit–serious topic of leaving a church. Breaking up is truly a hard thing to do. This past week Mrs. DM and I decided we needed to … Continue reading “Breaking Up With Your Church”
Category: Grief
Innocence Lost
DM on his first wedding day (2006) None of my immediate family experienced divorce. We were a sheltered family system–i.e. from grandparents down to first cousins. Divorce had not visited its devastation directly upon us. That was until my marriage was shot in the head on December 12, 2012. I was raised that marriage was … Continue reading “Innocence Lost”
Major Catholic Church Development Regarding Annulments and Adultery
Big News Reported On CNN: “Pope Francis makes annulment of marriages cheaper and easier” by Delia Gallagher and Daniel Burke (click on article title above for link) I am not Catholic. My understanding of marriage is more in line with Protestantism, of course. I am an evangelical and a Lutheran minister, after all. In my … Continue reading “Major Catholic Church Development Regarding Annulments and Adultery”
I know you want your marriage to survive this…
Speaking to myself three years ago: “I know you want your marriage to survive your spouse’s infidelity… …but the fate of your marriage does not hinge on your decision(s).” When my marriage unraveled and I discovered the Other Man, I wanted so badly for my (then) wife to repent of her unfaithfulness and stop the divorce … Continue reading “I know you want your marriage to survive this…”
Adult Children of Divorce
When I preached a few weeks back on divorce, someone came to me after the sermon asking for resources for adult children of divorce. I did not have much to offer as I am unaware of much for that demographic. It is symptomatic of how adultery and divorce remain viewed as an issue only … Continue reading “Adult Children of Divorce”
Silver Lining of Ashley Madison Hack
While I do not condone the hacking of a business website–it is wrong and criminal–I am appreciative of the what has happened since the publication of Ashley Madison data. Call it a silver-lining: 1. Victims of deception and cheating became empowered by knowledge. I am not of the camp that considers the cheaters victims … Continue reading “Silver Lining of Ashley Madison Hack”
Parents of Divorcees And Disenfranchised Grief
Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and nights. No one said a word to Job, for they saw that his suffering was too great for words. – Job 2:13, NLT Adultery effects more than just the couple. So does divorce. After preaching, I was pulled aside and asked about … Continue reading “Parents of Divorcees And Disenfranchised Grief”
The Heart Knows…
The heart has its reasons, which reason does not know. – Blaise Pascal (1623-1662), French Philosopher, Thoughts, #277 It was three years ago this past Monday… ….when I was served the divorce papers by a marshal on my way to celebrate my graduation from my very first unit of Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE). That day seems … Continue reading “The Heart Knows…”
“I care about you…”
The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. -Proverbs 12:18, NIV I care about you but not enough… …to end my friendship with the adulterous spouse until she repents. My thoughts: “Sorry, your concern for me sounds skin deep. Scripture is clear that a person who … Continue reading ““I care about you…””
When you know enough…
And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. – John 3:19, KJV In the early stages of discovery, I can remember being downright obsessive in trying to find out the facts. It was all-consuming for a good deal of … Continue reading “When you know enough…”