See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. -Isaiah 43:19, NIV A little over a decade ago, I was fresh off my divorce. That year I decided to go to a conference in Kansas … Continue reading “Gift of the new thing.”
Category: Grief
God DELIGHTS in YOU!!!
“The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” -Zephaniah 3:17, NIV God does not just tolerate you. This is one of the important truths revealed in this verse. God has … Continue reading “God DELIGHTS in YOU!!!”
Another Anniversary of Sorts
Today marks eleven years since I became officially divorced from my Cheater. I probably would have forgotten that fact if not for running this blog and seeing an old post marking its passing. That is how insignificant the date has become now. This day is a day that I could not foresee when my divorce … Continue reading “Another Anniversary of Sorts”
Don’t want someone’s pity.
“I can tell you are still tender, healing.” -“Well-Meaning” Observer What bothers me the most about these sort of statements is how they are usually stated as a way to express compassion for the faithful spouse but really just communicate pity. Who enjoys being the object of pity?! Now, it is true that the infidelity … Continue reading “Don’t want someone’s pity.”
Made a humiliating list
When I was separated from my cheater, I made a list. It is humiliating looking back on it. I wrote up a list of reasons for why I wanted to stay married to her (even though, I knew she was a cheater). As you might have guessed, she responded to it with contempt. In part, … Continue reading “Made a humiliating list”
Financial Reliance
One of the hardest parts of adultery discovery and divorce is how it can be financially devastating for the faithful spouse. Cheaters know this. I think some use it as another emotional cudgel with which to beat their faithful spouse. They use their financial power to terrorize their (soon to be ex) spouse. I think … Continue reading “Financial Reliance”
Grief Surprise
Recently, I was driving to a friend’s house and feeling a little sad. Initially, I could not put my finger on what was putting me in the funk. Then I realized… …it was my “trauma-versary!” A little over a decade ago, my (now) ex-wife called and confirmed my worst suspicions. She had–indeed–been sexually active with … Continue reading “Grief Surprise”
Give thanks ALWAYS!
16 Always be joyful. 17 Never stop praying. 18 Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. -I Thessalonians 5:16-18, NLT When going through infidelity discovery and divorce, it is too easy to focus on what we have lost and the injustice of it all. We start losing sight of what … Continue reading “Give thanks ALWAYS!”
Once thought we were “rock solid”
Part of my blindness in my first marriage was thinking we were rock solid as a couple. Maybe you can relate? I naively believed that cheating and divorce was something that only happened to other people. It certainly wouldn’t happen to me and my marriage. That sort of thinking is what made the whole experience … Continue reading “Once thought we were “rock solid””
Validation LONG before Forgiveness talk
Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and nights. No one said a word to Job, for they saw that his suffering was too great for words. -Job 2:13, NLT Please do not underestimate how traumatic and disorienting discovering marital infidelity is! Speaking from my personal experience as well as from … Continue reading “Validation LONG before Forgiveness talk”