“However, I say to you, if anyone divorces his wife for any reason, except for infidelity, he causes her to commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” -Matthew 5:32, TPT I do not see an expiration clause here. The permission Jesus gives to divorce a cheater does not come with an exception … Continue reading “Hanging over head”
Category: Reconciliation
Silencing of faithful spouses by the Christian community
May all who gloat over my distress be put to shame and confusion; may all who exalt themselves over me be clothed with shame and disgrace. -Psalm 35:25, NIV Churches and church leaders, generally speaking, are not good at giving faithful spouses a voice and reaffirming their agency. At least, that is my experience. What is common … Continue reading “Silencing of faithful spouses by the Christian community”
The Broken Vase Parable
Another thing you do: You flood the Lord’s altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer looks with favor on your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. You ask, “Why?” It is because the Lord is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been … Continue reading “The Broken Vase Parable”
Advice from a non-therapist…
The following lesson is a lesson I learned the hard way: Be choosy as it comes to who you use as a marriage therapist (if you choose to go that route and the cheater is willing). If the counselor has been your cheater’s individual therapist, they are not suited to help you both as a … Continue reading “Advice from a non-therapist…”
The hellish price for Christian “support”
Hate evil and love what is good; turn your courts into true halls of justice. Perhaps even yet the Lord God of Heaven’s Armies will have mercy on the remnant of his people. -Amos 5:15, NLT Divorce Minister: Taking Adultery Seriously is an online community where I do not blame the victims of adultery. Too often, I … Continue reading “The hellish price for Christian “support””
Some ways to help a faithful spouse
A Christian brother comes over one night. He crumples onto your couch tears overflowing. Through his heaving sobs, you learn his wife has left him and is having sex with another man. The hollow and desperate look in his eyes tears at your heart. What can you do? I will start with the negative first. These dangerous responses … Continue reading “Some ways to help a faithful spouse”
Even Jesus Did Not Force Reconciliation!
“O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, thou that killest the prophets, and stonest them which are sent unto thee, how often would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, and ye would not!” -Matthew 23:37, KJV Even Jesus did not force reconciliation of His Bride! This is what this … Continue reading “Even Jesus Did Not Force Reconciliation!”
Sometimes it is not fixable.
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!” -Isaiah 43:18-19a, NIV Sometimes the marriage is not fixable, and it comes time to focus on a new thing. A cheater who refuses to repent makes a marriage not fixable. It would be unwise to reinvest in a … Continue reading “Sometimes it is not fixable.”
We still have cemeteries.
Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all people, because all sinned…. -Romans 5:12, NIV We still have cemeteries. In fact, I have one less than a mile from my house. It is a pretty full one at that. We still … Continue reading “We still have cemeteries.”
Hi DM, I agree, but I have heard so many Christians tell faithful spouses…
Hi DM, It is true that the cheater almost never repents when discovered, at least most of the time. But I’ve heard so many Christians tell faithful spouses that they should pray for their love ones to repent, that it is their duty to keep the marriage because it is a covenant and they can … Continue reading “Hi DM, I agree, but I have heard so many Christians tell faithful spouses…”