If I could write my own ticket, I would teach a seminary class on helping adultery victims and holding cheaters accountable. -Included in this class would be a primer on how divorce is not always sin as well as how divorce can be a mercy to victims of infidelity. Anger and ire ought to be … Continue reading “Wish I would be invited to teach seminary students on adultery and divorce”
Category: Reconciliation
Good is coming!
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. -Romans 8:28, KJV I know this verse is twisted against faithful spouses all too often. Well-meaning yet hurtful Christians quote this verse at the traumatized faithful spouse as a means … Continue reading “Good is coming!”
Cheater refusal to repent not OKAY!
Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. -Matthew 5:23-24, NKJV These two verse uttered by Jesus are why I doubt … Continue reading “Cheater refusal to repent not OKAY!”
Reconciliation means to friendships, NOT marriage necessarily!
And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. – 2 Corinthians 5:19b, NIV Reconciled to friendship, NOT marriage! What often bothers me about Christians talking about marriages ravaged by adultery is how “reconciliation” is thrown about as the same thing as marriage restoration. It is not. A former couple could experience true reconciliation … Continue reading “Reconciliation means to friendships, NOT marriage necessarily!”
Time to take adultery seriously. God does.
“If a man commits adultery with his neighbor’s wife, both the man and the woman who have committed adultery must be put to death.” -Leviticus 20:10, NLT This verse says it all. It teaches us that God viewed adultery as a marriage ending sin. How so? God required the adulterous spouse to die in light of said … Continue reading “Time to take adultery seriously. God does.”
On Being “The Model Divorced”
“Yes, we are divorced. But we’re friends. I understand I made mistakes, too, in our marriage.” – “Model” Divorcee If you do get divorced, I sense this is what people–maybe Christians especially–want to hear. They want a nice narrative where they do not have to pick sides. Maybe some divorcees can become friends with each other after the … Continue reading “On Being “The Model Divorced””
Just because they say so…
Public Service Announcement: Just because a cheater says so… …does not make it so! Remember that you are hearing words coming from a proven liar. That is what all cheaters are: proven liars. When they say things about you and your marriage, you have to discount that with this fact about their deficient character. They … Continue reading “Just because they say so…”
Pro-Tip: Faithful spouses need condemnation free spaces, pastors!
Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? No one—for God himself has given us right standing with himself. Who then will condemn us? No one—for Christ Jesus died for us…. -Romans 8:33-34a, NLT What faithful spouses need more than spiritual advice are people willing to listen to them without condemnation. Faithful spouses are recovering … Continue reading “Pro-Tip: Faithful spouses need condemnation free spaces, pastors!”
Temptation of the fantasy “reconciliation”
I can distinctly remember driving down a major highway back home wishing the pain to end. Part of me knew there was no going back to how things “were.” I still missed the fantasy, though. The ending of my marriage came with tremendous losses; this I knew in the deepest of places. I just wanted … Continue reading “Temptation of the fantasy “reconciliation””
Reading cheater tea leaves
When I was going through the darkest part of my marriage dying, I really did not want the divorce. (As a side note, I am so grateful today that I was freed by that divorce. God has used Mrs. DM and Munchkin to restore the laughter in the halls of my heart.) A temptation I … Continue reading “Reading cheater tea leaves”