How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? -2 Corinthians 6:14b, NLT Some Christians expect faithful spouses to remain “friends” with their cheating ex-partner following divorce. This is insane! The expectation is wound up in a twisted and perverted understanding of what forgiveness demands in this situation. Guess what? … Continue reading “So NOT friends with ex!”
Category: Reconciliation
Awful Advice: “Don’t throw away your marriage over this!”
“‘If a man commits adultery with another man’s wife—with the wife of his neighbor—both the adulterer and the adulteress are to be put to death.’” -Leviticus 20:10, NIV “Don’t throw away your marriage over this,” the well-meaning pastor tells the sobbing faithful spouse upon discovery of the adulterous double life of their spouse. He misses … Continue reading “Awful Advice: “Don’t throw away your marriage over this!””
Hope for cheaters
“Even now,” declares the Lord, “return to me with all your heart, with fasting and weeping and mourning.” Rend your heart and not your garments. -Joel 2:12-13a, NIV What is described here in Joel is repentance. The prophet talks about genuine remorse or grief over wrong doing and not simply outward displays–like tearing “rending” one’s clothes. That is … Continue reading “Hope for cheaters”
Dear DM, My wife says that she deserves to be happy.
Dear Divorce Minister, I am separated from my wife. She left me and our boys, age 12, on November 2nd 2018. She said she was stressed dealing with one of our sons who has ADHD and ODD. At first, it was a 30 day separation and I was a good dad, husband, provider, etc. She … Continue reading “Dear DM, My wife says that she deserves to be happy.”
Do not blame the faithful spouse for the cheater’s lack of repentance
“Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were not willing.” -Matthew 23:37, NIV An injustice faithful spouses experience when divorce is on the table is being blamed for … Continue reading “Do not blame the faithful spouse for the cheater’s lack of repentance”
Cheaters as entitled and arrogant!
Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God. Do ye think that the scripture saith in vain, The spirit that dwelleth in us lusteth to envy? But he giveth more grace. Wherefore … Continue reading “Cheaters as entitled and arrogant!”
When the cheater sees you as the bigger transgressor
Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye. -Matthew 7:5, NLT When a cheater sees the faithful spouse as the greater transgressor in the relationship, I see no hope for a godly reunion and restoration of the … Continue reading “When the cheater sees you as the bigger transgressor”
DM Book Sale!
For a limited time, I have dropped prices on my book. Currently, I have dropped the paperback prices from $12.99 to $8.99. The eBook is now only $3.99 from its regular price of $7.99. As you purchase books, read, and share the ideas in the book, you are helping spread these much needed ideas. The … Continue reading “DM Book Sale!”
If verifying the end of the affair(s) isn’t the first priority, you need a new pastor or counselor.
When a Christian counselor or pastor chooses to treat the ending of the affair as a secondary issue, you can be assured they are not equipped to deal with the situation in a godly matter. Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the … Continue reading “If verifying the end of the affair(s) isn’t the first priority, you need a new pastor or counselor.”
Mailbag: Was I wrong to tell him to move out?
Dear Divorce Minister, First, thank you for the work you do and insight you provide. I do believe that God is for marriage restoration. However, not all marriages can be saved, and that is because not everyone will repent. Just like salvation is for everyone, but not everyone will accept. I am glad that your … Continue reading “Mailbag: Was I wrong to tell him to move out?”