But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. -I Corinthians 7:15, KJV Let the cheater leave! If a cheater is hell-bent on denying Christ by their actions, let them. This is on them. I see this … Continue reading “Let the cheater leave!”
Category: Reconciliation
Gratitude (or lack thereof) is very telling!
“Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.” -Luke 7:47, NIV The amount of gratitude ought to match the amount forgiven. This is one lesson I take from Jesus’ teaching in this verse. And it is an important spiritual lesson … Continue reading “Gratitude (or lack thereof) is very telling!”
On leaving open the door to “Romantic Fantasy Land”
“This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.’” -Proverbs 30:20, NIV It is pointless to engage in “reconciliation” efforts while a partner continues cheating. You are wasting time and treasure. The worst piece of advice I got was to take my focus off … Continue reading “On leaving open the door to “Romantic Fantasy Land””
Dear DM, I need your advice.
Dear DM, I need your advice. My wife has committed adultery several times in our marriage and I reconciled over and over again. Two of my ex wife’s lovers were my sons friend fathers and two more were my sons wrestling coach’s. After he discovered his second wrestling coach, he cut off contact with his … Continue reading “Dear DM, I need your advice.”
Feeding Into False Hope for Marriage Restoration
Sharing only testimonies of reconciled and restored marriages following adultery… feeds false hope in “reconciliation” for faithful spouses dealing with unrepentant cheaters. Show of hands. How many here thought their marriage was going to “make it” and then you would have a testimony about marriage reconciliation to share with others? I know I did. The … Continue reading “Feeding Into False Hope for Marriage Restoration”
Contempt signals, “It’s over!”
When a wicked man comes, contempt also comes,And with dishonor comes scorn. -Proverbs 18:3, NASB When a cheater shows contempt for you, it is time to leave the relationship. I am talking more than simply the act of cheating–which is truly an act of contempt. Rather, I am talking about interactions with the cheater where they express … Continue reading “Contempt signals, “It’s over!””
Cheater not filing, NOT enough!
“A wicked and adulterous generation looks for a sign, but none will be given it except the sign of Jonah.” Jesus then left them and went away. -Matthew 16:4, NIV Some Christian leaders will encourage faithful spouses to stay in marriages if their cheater chooses not to file for divorce. I am NOT one of those! … Continue reading “Cheater not filing, NOT enough!”
Cheaters and liars in dangerous waters
Such teachings come through hypocritical liars, whose consciences have been seared as with a hot iron. -I Timothy 4:2, NIV What happens when we walk into a body of cold water? It usually feels really cold initially. However, as we wait and stay in the water, our legs become numb to the temperatures. It … Continue reading “Cheaters and liars in dangerous waters”
Please, don’t bother!
If your cheater refuses to stop cheating AND demonstrate to YOUR satisfaction that the affairs are done for good… …then please do NOT bother trying to reconcile! This is not a workable situation. You do not deserve to remain in an abusive situation as that is what a marriage to an active cheater is. Both … Continue reading “Please, don’t bother!”
Justice and forgiveness
Trusting God with our hurts is hard. Forgiveness is about doing just that, though. It is allowing God be God in our situation. But forgiving our cheater is nearly impossible if we believe we care more about justice than God. Justice matters to God. He did not just give sin a pass. It isn’t … Continue reading “Justice and forgiveness”