13 Then David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.” Nathan replied, “The Lord has taken away your sin. You are not going to die. 14 But because by doing this you have shown utter contempt for the Lord, the son born to you will die.” -2 Samuel 12:13-14, NIV God forgave David for murder and adultery. It says so here. However, God … Continue reading “Forgiveness does not erase natural consequences!”
Category: Reconciliation
Discerning change? Look for guilt, not shame, response in cheater.
Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. -2 Corinthians 7:10, NIV When trying to determine real repentance, I recommend watching for a guilt-response as opposed to a shame-response from the cheater. What do I mean by a “guilt response” versus a “shame response?” A … Continue reading “Discerning change? Look for guilt, not shame, response in cheater.”
Cheaters “under the influence”
Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit…. Ephesians 5:18, NIV What if your cheater was drunk or “under the influence” of another drug when she cheated? I actually have more hope for those marriages than the ones where a substance was not involved. My reasoning is the … Continue reading “Cheaters “under the influence””
Cheater: “I don’t know if I can commit to our marriage.”
What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. Mattew 19:6b, KJV “I don’t know if I can commit to our marriage,” says the cheater. “Well, that tells me what I need to know. It is probably best we are not married anymore. I see now by your ambivalence that our values–liking keeping … Continue reading “Cheater: “I don’t know if I can commit to our marriage.””
DM, how might your book help a truly repentant cheater?
How might reading my book help a truly repentant cheater? If they have ears to hear as a truly repentant individual, my book would help them to understand the devastation created by their sin. It would help them see the world through their victim’s eyes. That said, the book is “strong medicine” for the unfaithful … Continue reading “DM, how might your book help a truly repentant cheater?”
Shaking off their dust
“But go rather to the lost sheep of the house of Israel. And as ye go, preach, saying, The kingdom of heaven is at hand. … And whosoever shall not receive you, nor hear your words, when ye depart out of that house or city, shake off the dust of your feet.” -Matthew 10:6-7, 14, … Continue reading “Shaking off their dust”
Thoughts on HuffPo Article
An article appeared on Huffington Post on December 13th entitled: “A Therapist Explains: Can a Relationship Truly Heal After an Affair? Yes, but expect a different relationship on the other side” (Click on title to be directed to the article). It is a mailbag sort of article where someone writes in about healing from an affair … Continue reading “Thoughts on HuffPo Article”
Don’t Bother.
Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be just like him. -Proverbs 26:4, NIV Has your cheater stopped cheating? Has she/he confessed the extent of the infidelity in their past? Are the affair secrets out in the open? I do not see much hope for marriages ravaged by infidelity … Continue reading “Don’t Bother.”
Beware of Nostalgic Cheaters Around the Holidays
Beware of cheaters trying to suck you into some quality holiday family image management! As Christians, I think we are especially susceptible to fake remorse around the holidays. We want to avoid the pain of divorce and separation during this especially hard time. So, we might settle for less than what is good for us. … Continue reading “Beware of Nostalgic Cheaters Around the Holidays”
Returning victims to the perpetrators of their soul rape!
Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.” … Continue reading “Returning victims to the perpetrators of their soul rape!”