“Let her remove the adulterous look from her face and the unfaithfulness from between her breasts.” -Hosea 2:2b, NIV Ambiguity is a main reason faithful spouses remain longer than we should in doomed marriages. Cheaters thrive on ambiguity. This is the key idea behind why a cheater will confess to an emotional affair while continuing … Continue reading “Make Ambiguity Work Against Cheater Interests”
Category: Reconciliation
Thoughts on Forgiveness
Recently, I came across a blog post on my social media feed. It is found on Dr. Henry Cloud’s website teaching boundaries. The way the author–Dr. Cloud?–frames forgiveness is helpful. The article is entitled, “Just Because You Forgive, it Doesn’t Mean You Have to Trust Again.” Three important points are laid out as follows, 1. Forgiveness … Continue reading “Thoughts on Forgiveness”
DM, This is a text from a friend…
DM, This is a text from my friend regarding my wife who has cheated on me with 4 men over the last 13 years. She is now repentant, running to God like her pants were on fire after I discovered the most recent affair. I feel like my Christian friends are putting it all on … Continue reading “DM, This is a text from a friend…”
Possible. But likely? Doubt it.
As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly. -Proverbs 26:11, NIV Within the Christian community, so much pressure is placed upon faithful spouses to “reconcile” with their cheating partners. Sometimes lip service is given to the importance that the cheater has actually changed and will not cheat again. However, the general … Continue reading “Possible. But likely? Doubt it.”
Need Seminary Classes Dealing With Divorce and Infidelity Situations
If I could write my own ticket, I would teach a seminary class on helping adultery victims and holding cheaters accountable. -Included in this class would be a primer on how divorce is not always sin as well as how divorce can be a mercy to victims of infidelity. Anger and ire ought to be … Continue reading “Need Seminary Classes Dealing With Divorce and Infidelity Situations”
Wise Not To “Be Friends” With Some Cheaters
Some cheaters will never give up their narrative of “what went wrong.” Naive Christians think such madness is finite. They think the cheater will “have to” face the difficult reality some day. Surely, she will eventually come to her senses and face the reality that she blew up her marriage by committing adultery. Don’t count … Continue reading “Wise Not To “Be Friends” With Some Cheaters”
Feeling Bad Is NOT Enough!
Then Saul admitted to Samuel, “Yes, I have sinned. I have disobeyed your instructions and the Lord’s command, for I was afraid of the people and did what they demanded.” -I Samuel 15:24, NLT Feeling Bad Is Not Enough Even though Saul called his disobedience sin, God did not accept this late and lame confession–(notice the … Continue reading “Feeling Bad Is NOT Enough!”
God Is Not Okay With Cheaters Refusing To Repent
Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. -Matthew 5:23-24, NKJV These two verse uttered by Jesus are why I doubt … Continue reading “God Is Not Okay With Cheaters Refusing To Repent”
An Important “IF”
“If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and IF they repent, forgive them.” -Luke 17:3b, NIV (Emphasis Mine) IF we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. -I John 1:9, NKJV AN IMPORTANT “IF” When Christians encounter situations where marital infidelity has taken … Continue reading “An Important “IF””
Dear DM, Do I just keep sucking it up?
Dear Divorce Minister, As hard as it is, I have been reading your posts as an offender against my husband. I have taken full responsibility for my actions, I believe I repented and worked for years to make amends. He says he has forgiven me, yet why do I feel as if I’m being constantly … Continue reading “Dear DM, Do I just keep sucking it up?”