Hello! I am SO grateful for your blog, as I am yet another infidelity victim being treated horribly by church leaders. The latest is that they’ve taken the position that I’ve lost my right to divorce my husband, for a variety of reasons. I “took too long” to decide (a year+…after a HORRIBLE case of … Continue reading “Mailbag: Lost Permission to Divorce Biblically?”
Category: Reconciliation
Letter Published Calling Tullian Tchividjian To Repentance
Recently, a letter was published calling fallen ex-pastor, Tullian Tchividjian, to repentance. Without going into great detail, Tullian Tchividjian is the disgraced grandson of Rev. Billy Graham who lost his job as a pastor as well as his ministerial credentials due to more than one instance of marital infidelity (some of my posts here, here, and … Continue reading “Letter Published Calling Tullian Tchividjian To Repentance”
Two to Tango? Yet some cannot or will not even dance.
Random Christian: Sure, she cheated on you. But you know, it takes two to tango. DM: That only applies if you have two willing and able dance partners. She clearly is not willing and possibly not even able to “tango” with me. The “It takes two to tango” line is a subtle blame-shift upon faithful … Continue reading “Two to Tango? Yet some cannot or will not even dance.”
Better Days Ahead!
The Lord blessed the latter days of Job more than his beginning…. -Job 42:12a, NASB So much is done within the Church to reinforce fears concerning divorce. Even a ministry I generally recommend for those divorcing a cheating spouse, DivorceCare, does this to some extent. They certainly do not encourage divorce–even when, I believe, that … Continue reading “Better Days Ahead!”
Bridges FOR Burning!
I meant that you are not to associate with anyone who claims to be a believer yet indulges in sexual sin, or is greedy, or worships idols, or is abusive, or is a drunkard, or cheats people. Don’t even eat with such people. – I Corinthians 5:11, NLT Some bridges need burning! I am thinking of … Continue reading “Bridges FOR Burning!”
Peace NOT Friendship
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. -Romans 12:18, NIV Notice what this verse does and does not say: 1. It DOES NOT say–or set the expectation–that we are friends with everyone. 2. It DOES say–i.e. acknowledges–that peace with some people is impossible. These are very important truths … Continue reading “Peace NOT Friendship”
Love & Divorce
This is what the LORD says: “Where is your mother’s certificate of divorce with which I sent her away? …Because of your sins you were sold; because of your transgressions your mother was sent away. -Isaiah 50:1a,c, NIV Is divorcing a spouse incompatible with loving a spouse? In other words, do you have to hate … Continue reading “Love & Divorce”
Make Ambiguity the Cheater’s Enemy
“Let her remove the adulterous look from her face and the unfaithfulness from between her breasts.” -Hosea 2:2b, NIV Ambiguity is a main reason faithful spouses remain longer than we should in doomed marriages. Cheaters thrive on ambiguity. This is the key idea behind why a cheater will confess to an emotional affair while continuing … Continue reading “Make Ambiguity the Cheater’s Enemy”
No more of THOSE arguments, thankfully!
Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.* -Proverbs 25:24, NIV One of the many gifts that came with my first marriage ending was the end of those arguments. I no longer had to argue over my reality with someone trying to deny it. Once I let go of … Continue reading “No more of THOSE arguments, thankfully!”
Mailbag: Can he change?
Marjie wrote, I have been married for 26 years. 22 years ago I found out my husband was going to prostitutes, massage parlors ect. At the time we had 2 children in diapers. I was completely destroyed, but because of our kids I agreed to work it out. My husband isn’t an easy person, he … Continue reading “Mailbag: Can he change?”