“…let her therefore put away her whoredoms out of her sight, and her adulteries from between her breasts….” -Hosea 2:2b, KJV Reasonable Expectation: A faithful spouse should expect a cheating spouse–whether emotional and/or physical–will demonstrate that the affair is completely over and steps have been taken to fix the character flaw in the cheater that … Continue reading “A Most Reasonable Expectation”
Category: Reconciliation
Not there to solve the marriage problems!
Attending marriage counseling with a cheater on the way out of the marriage is a very confusing experience. At least in my experience–I know there are some exceptions to this–marriage counselors and pastors are often not equipped to identify tell-tale cheating and exiting behavior then use that information to help protect the faithful partner. The … Continue reading “Not there to solve the marriage problems!”
Pastoral Resource: Addressing Adulterous Situations
Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may … Continue reading “Pastoral Resource: Addressing Adulterous Situations”
Christian Divorce Support and Feeding “Miracle” Thinking
DivorceCare did me a great deal of good. I know I will forever be thankful for the people I met in the DivorceCare group while I was working in St. Cloud, MN. God definitely directed me to that community and group. As you can tell by visiting my RESOURCES page, I encourage people to find … Continue reading “Christian Divorce Support and Feeding “Miracle” Thinking”
Fellowship With Darkness?!
For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? -2 Corinthians 6:14b, NIV Wicked or evil people may sometimes appear–or even be–good in some settings. This truth is well-illustrated in a recent interview with the 105-year-old secretary of Nazi Germany’s propagandist, Joseph Goebbels (see here). Adultery is … Continue reading “Fellowship With Darkness?!”
Mailbag: This weekend I had a conversation with a Christian “friend”…
Michael wrote: This weekend I had a conversation with a Christian friend that really bothered me. It’s days later and I’m still bothered, hurt by his comments. Long story short, we got onto the topic of my divorce. Normally, I avoid this topic with this specific person. He is the one who told me about … Continue reading “Mailbag: This weekend I had a conversation with a Christian “friend”…”
Mismatched Values
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? -2 Corinthians 6:14, KJV Whether one is abandoned or cheated on or both, the reality for faithful spouses is as stark as this verse from 2 Corinthians paints it. Light cannot fellowship with … Continue reading “Mismatched Values”
Signs of Real Repentance
And Zacchaeus stood, and said unto the Lord; “Behold, Lord, the half of my goods I give to the poor; and if I have taken any thing from any man by false accusation, I restore him fourfold.” -Luke 19:8, KJV (quotation marks added) So, you think your cheater has hit rock bottom and is truly … Continue reading “Signs of Real Repentance”
“Don’t throw away your marriage” advice
And the man that committeth adultery with another man’s wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbour’s wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death. -Leviticus 20:10, KJV “Don’t throw away your marriage over this,” the well-meaning pastor tells the sobbing faithful spouse upon discovery of the adulterous double life … Continue reading ““Don’t throw away your marriage” advice”
True Repentance: It’s Obvious!
“What happens with leaders often in these situations is that they give you one paragraph of acknowledgement of wrong, and 6 paragraphs of how they are a victim. If I’m counselling an adulterous man, and he sits in front of me and all he talks about is his wife, I know that man is far … Continue reading “True Repentance: It’s Obvious!”