Michael wrote, Hi Rev David. My ex-wife said she didn’t know how to forgive herself but at the same time would not stop her adultery. What is your take on this? Dear Michael, Two possible options come to mind as to what is happening here with your ex-wife: 1) She is lying for image or … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: Cannot forgive oneself but cannot stop cheating either”
Category: Reconciliation
Problem With “I Never Recommend Divorce” Stance
“I never recommend divorce, but I will say, I’ll go as far as separation.” – Dr. David Clarke in 7/22/15 interview on Focus on the Family® While I generally agree with Dr. Clarke’s approach to dealing with infidelity, I strongly disagree with him on this point.* Sometimes I will recommend divorce if it means protecting a spouse … Continue reading “Problem With “I Never Recommend Divorce” Stance”
“I’m not defined by my past.”
Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people—none of these will inherit … Continue reading ““I’m not defined by my past.””
Cruelty and Clarity
A righteous man regardeth the life of his beast: but the tender mercies of the wicked are cruel. – Proverbs 12:10, KJV Clarity can come from strange places. And peace may flow from a time of unquieted anxiety. I discovered these truths in my healing journey from learning of my former spouse’s infidelity and the … Continue reading “Cruelty and Clarity”
True Remorse and the Cheater’s Self-Forgiveness Struggle
Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern,what readiness to see justice done. At every point you have proved yourselves to be … Continue reading “True Remorse and the Cheater’s Self-Forgiveness Struggle”
Guest Post On “The Wartburg Watch” Blog
Guest Post on TWW I was approached by Dee, an editor of The Wartburg Watch, to write a little about my story, my ministry, and my take on John Piper’s position re: adultery/divorce/remarriage. Here is a link to what I wrote (click here). For those coming from TWW or unfamiliar with my earlier posts, here … Continue reading “Guest Post On “The Wartburg Watch” Blog”
Mate Date Nonsense
Excuses might be found for a thief who steals because he is starving. But if he is caught, he must pay back seven times what he stole, even if he has to sell everything in his house. -Proverbs 6:30-31, NLT Dating your spouse. It is not that I am against having one-on-one romantic evenings or … Continue reading “Mate Date Nonsense”
No matter how much you care…
…you don’t get to choose repentance for them. “But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve….But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.” – Joshua 24:15a,c, NIV I remember sitting in a sermon series with a pastor–i.e. Pastor Dom of … Continue reading “No matter how much you care…”
Update: Good News Regarding Karen Hinkley, Matt Chandler, and The Village Church
[TVC Lead Pastors Matt Chandler and Josh Patterson] told me that they felt awful about how I had been treated. They said I had biblical grounds for annulment or divorce, that I should have been granted my withdrawal from membership immediately, and that I never should have been put under discipline. They wanted to hear … Continue reading “Update: Good News Regarding Karen Hinkley, Matt Chandler, and The Village Church”
More Bad Advice
“Just let her know you are there waiting. Hold the space for the marriage.” – Pastor God did not wait forever for Israel. We see that in Jeremiah 3:8. God accepted Israel’s decisions to choose against the covenant by pursuing adulterous relationships. This is part of the reason I find the advice above unhelpful. It … Continue reading “More Bad Advice”