“‘…if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount.’” -Luke 19:8b, NIV A truly repentant Cheater will offer restitution. This is what I see from this famous story about Jesus meeting Zacchaeus. Jesus did not insist on this. The offer was freely offered by Zaccheaus. He had met … Continue reading “Freely provides restitution”
Category: Reconciliation
Called out!
For some people have deliberately violated their consciences; as a result, their faith has been shipwrecked. Hymenaeus and Alexander are two examples. I threw them out and handed them over to Satan so they might learn not to blaspheme God. -I Timothy 1:19b-20, NLT The Apostle Paul names, names here. He does not shy away from … Continue reading “Called out!”
Communication problem? Not how it seems.
The only “communication” issue needing addressing stat is the absolute, verified ending the affair. A cheater can keep a pastor and faithful spouse chasing random rabbit trails for a very long time if they are convinced the marriage issues are anything other than ending the affair. Lot of energy can be lost focusing on secondary … Continue reading “Communication problem? Not how it seems.”
Look for godliness as priority in pastoral care
“Let’s set aside the affair for a moment. We need to work on your marriage. You each have problems you need to own.” -Pastor/Christian Counselor If a version comes out of your pastors or counselor’s mouth, it is time to find a new pastor or counselor. They are dangerously clueless. Fidelity is a bedrock for … Continue reading “Look for godliness as priority in pastoral care”
A dream-prompting
Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many. -Hebrews 12:15b, NLT Each night, I pray that God would send me healing and prophetic dreams as I go to bed. This morning I woke remembering a vivid dream. It involved a “friend” who betrayed me in my divorce from … Continue reading “A dream-prompting”
Do not feed Cheater contempt!
Here is the deceptive way of the adulterous woman: she takes what she wants and then says, “I’ve done nothing wrong.” -Proverbs 30:20, TPT While I believe we can all learn from our mistakes and sins in a relationship, I caution against the counsel to own our marriage sins with a cheater in active infidelity. … Continue reading “Do not feed Cheater contempt!”
Regarding boasts of “saved marriages”
When pastors or Christian counselors boast of “saved marriages,” I am immediately skeptical. Usually, this means the couple did not divorce. It really says nothing about whether or not repentance took place on the part of the cheater. The spiritual health of the spouses is not really addressed or defined with such numbers. “Saving” a … Continue reading “Regarding boasts of “saved marriages””
A most reasonable expectation
“…let her therefore put away her whoredoms out of her sight, and her adulteries from between her breasts….” -Hosea 2:2b, KJV A Faithful Spouse’s Reasonable Expectation: The cheater ends the affair(s)–both physical and emotional varieties–and engages in actions demonstrating self-work on the character flaws that led the cheater to betray their partner. This expectation needs … Continue reading “A most reasonable expectation”
A mismatch
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? -2 Corinthians 6:14, KJV Whether one is abandoned or cheated on or both, the reality for faithful spouses is as stark as this verse from 2 Corinthians paints it. Light cannot fellowship with … Continue reading “A mismatch”
Practical Minimization: Focusing on Faithful Spouse “Faults”
Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye. -Matthew 7:5, KJV When pastors and counselors focus on the faithful spouse’s “faults,” they are minimizing the cheating and the seriousness of this sin. This is why … Continue reading “Practical Minimization: Focusing on Faithful Spouse “Faults””