When a wicked man comes, contempt also comes, And with dishonor comes scorn. -Proverbs 18:3, NASB Public Service Announcement (PSA): When a cheater shows contempt for you, it is time to leave the relationship. I am talking more than simply the act of cheating–which is truly an act of contempt. Rather, I am talking about interactions with … Continue reading “PSA: Contempt indicates the marriage is truly DONE!”
Category: Reconciliation
If your cheater is still making demands…
If your cheater is still making demands…. …then you can be assured that they are not really sorry about cheating and did not really “get” the devastation of their sin against you. A person who cheats and grasps how awful a betrayal it is will not then turn on the faithful party to make relationship … Continue reading “If your cheater is still making demands…”
“I thought we were all called to a ministry of reconciliation? With cheaters included.”
All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation…. – 2 Corinthians 5:18, NIV Do we not all have the ministry of reconciliation as followers of Christ? Does that include reconciling with Cheaters? The obvious answer to the first question is “Yes, we are called … Continue reading ““I thought we were all called to a ministry of reconciliation? With cheaters included.””
Look for guilty, NOT shameful cheaters for promising change!
Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. -2 Corinthians 7:10, NIV When trying to determine real repentance, I recommend watching for a guilt-response as opposed to a shame-response from the cheater. What do I mean by a “guilt response” versus a “shame response?” A “guilt … Continue reading “Look for guilty, NOT shameful cheaters for promising change!”
You will always be treated as “The Problem.”
When a cheater is done with their spouse, they will treat the spouse as “The Problem.” This is a dangerous time for the faithful spouse because this is when they experience the full contempt of the cheater. Sadly, many pastors and other counselors egg the cheater to say more contemptuous things about the faithful spouse … Continue reading “You will always be treated as “The Problem.””
Some just love the darkness.
And the judgment is based on this fact: God’s light came into the world, but people loved the darkness more than the light, for their actions were evil. -John 3:19, NLT Some people will choose the darkness over the light. This was true in Jesus’ day, and it is certainly true today. A wise person … Continue reading “Some just love the darkness.”
Why keep blogging about taking adultery seriously?
He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. -Micah 6:8, NIV Divorce Minister: Taking Adultery Seriously is an online ministry born from my personal experience and a pastoral need. That need is still there. … Continue reading “Why keep blogging about taking adultery seriously?”
Not everyone is going to be reasonable.
“Now think it over and see what you can do, because disaster is hanging over our master and his whole household. He is such a wicked man that no one can talk to him.” -Servant to Abigail, I Samuel 25:17, NIV This verse comes from the story of David, Abigail, and Nabal recorded in I … Continue reading “Not everyone is going to be reasonable.”
Godly forgiveness is NOT cheap forgiveness
Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. -Matthew 5:23-24, NKJV “God forgives me. So what’s your problem?!” -Cheater Does … Continue reading “Godly forgiveness is NOT cheap forgiveness”
Disturbed people only see it as leverage
The wicked flee though no one pursues…. -Proverbs 28:1a, NIV Disturbed people only see a history of cheating as leverage in a marriage. They could care less how the cheating has damaged and harmed the faithful spouse. The bigger problem for them is that they fear the faithful spouse “forever” holding it “over the head” … Continue reading “Disturbed people only see it as leverage”