Dear DM, What happens to the marriage covenant if…

Dear DM, If adultery breaks and destroys the marriage covenant, what happens to couples who don’t divorce, forgiveness is shown, and then go on to reconcile? Does the marriage covenant just magically become whole again after it was destroyed? It’s all so confusing. Thank you. -Hett Dear Hett, Thanks for your questions. As these were … Continue reading “Dear DM, What happens to the marriage covenant if…”

Dear DM, Is a marriage covenant always in effect while the cheater lives?

Greetings DM. Your blog is so comforting for those that have been soul raped and beaten up by the Church, but I must admit that I’m in a kind of a dissonant situation, I was my whole Christian life taught that adultery break the marriage covenant, abandonment and in my very particular vision violence do … Continue reading “Dear DM, Is a marriage covenant always in effect while the cheater lives?”

Preparing for that first, post-infidelity discovery couple’s session

Cheating is exposed. Now, the cheater is willing to go to couples therapy and rebuild what the cheater destroyed. How does a faithful spouse approach such sessions with a Christian couples counselor? 1. Remember you have choices here. Did you choose this counselor? What do you know about him or her? If this person is … Continue reading “Preparing for that first, post-infidelity discovery couple’s session”

“For the kids?” How about taking adultery seriously?!

Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. -Hebrews 13:4, NIV Adulterous spouses have no shame. On one hand, they will willfully and maliciously disregard how their selfish sinful choices impact their children. Then, on the other hand, they will … Continue reading ““For the kids?” How about taking adultery seriously?!”

On fools and foolish arguments.

Don’t answer the foolish arguments of fools, or you will become as foolish as they are. -Proverbs 26:4, NLT If someone is not willing to listen, save your breath. They have made up their mind, and you are best moving on. You do not need to stick your head into that mind-blender. Move on. Let … Continue reading “On fools and foolish arguments.”

Dear DM, Are second marriages adulterous?

Hi DM, I know that my comment would have almost nothing to do with your OG post, but I’ve been really struggling with this and I need your help. I’m a Pentecostal Christian, my wife let me years ago due to infidelity, she had lots of “lovers”, my life has been a mess since then … Continue reading “Dear DM, Are second marriages adulterous?”

Stopping the sex is NOT enough!

While it is important that the cheating stops, the damage has already been done. Stopping is not the same as repairing. I think this needs to be said. The temptation exists to ignore the damage caused by the cheating as long as “it is over.” Why? The aftermath is not pleasant. It leads to uncomfortable … Continue reading “Stopping the sex is NOT enough!”

Friendly divorce narrative

But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery. -Matthew 5:32, NIV “Yeah, we weren’t right for each other. But we are still friends,” says a divorcee. Within Christian circles, the friendly divorce seems to … Continue reading “Friendly divorce narrative”

Recalibrating Expectations: Marriage resurrection is not the norm.

 ….but the angel said, “Don’t be alarmed. You are looking for Jesus of Nazareth, who was crucified. He isn’t here! He is risen from the dead! Look, this is where they laid his body.” -Mark 16:6, NLT Resurrection is unexpected. It is not how things normally go. This is in part why Jesus coming back from … Continue reading “Recalibrating Expectations: Marriage resurrection is not the norm.”

Hosea had a special call on his life from God!

When the Lord began to speak by Hosea, the Lord said to Hosea: “Go, take yourself a wife of harlotry And children of harlotry, For the land has committed great harlotry By departing from the Lord.”  – Hosea 1:2, NKJV What strikes me as in the last post is how biblically educated men can miss how this was a very special call upon … Continue reading “Hosea had a special call on his life from God!”