Worse… so much worse! I remember early in my first marriage’s ending how I was hoping it was “just” an emotional affair. The whole not taking emotional affairs seriously was a problem I was yet to reckon with personally. The reality is the cheating is usually MUCH worse than what we see in the initial … Continue reading “Worse… so much worse!”
Category: Sin
So called “justifications”
“We were already divorced in our hearts,” says Cheater. “Our marriage has had problems for years,” says Cheater. “I’ve been unhappy in our marriage for a long time,” says Cheater. Cheaters accept lies to “justify” their sinful behavior. This is what is at the root of the problem for Cheaters. They have bought into lies. … Continue reading “So called “justifications””
Need to preach about righteous divorces
Sharing only testimonies of reconciled and restored marriages following adultery… …feeds false hope in “reconciliation” for faithful spouses dealing with unrepentant cheaters. Show of hands. How many here thought their marriage was going to “make it” and then you would have a testimony about marriage reconciliation to share with others? I know I did. The … Continue reading “Need to preach about righteous divorces”
Person, not an object
And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. -Ephesians 5:21, NLT Marriage is NOT about what you can extract from the other partner. A Christian marriage is not a contract for “goods.” I suspect many Cheater approaches marriage like a calculation. Some decide that they are no longer getting enough of a … Continue reading “Person, not an object”
Emotional Affair Back-Handed Blaming
Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery. -Hebrews 13:4, NLT Emotional Affair Back-Handed Blaming So, your Cheater admits to an “emotional affair.” They may even do this in the presence of a pastor or counselor. How does … Continue reading “Emotional Affair Back-Handed Blaming”
Cannot fix
14 Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. 15 These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death. -James 1:14-15, NLT A biblical approach to adultery situations will NEVER treat such sin as a symptom of a marriage problems! If they pastor … Continue reading “Cannot fix”
You’re such a threat, but…
Anyone here get labelled as “dangerous” and “angry” by your Cheater or her apologists? What I find curious about such labeling is how Cheaters know it is just that. They do not believe their actual press. When push comes to shove, Cheaters will call the person that they are “afraid of” to find true safety. … Continue reading “You’re such a threat, but…”
Don’t have to take it.
You do not have to take the lecture from the morally bankrupt Cheater. Walk away. Hang up the phone. End the session. A responsible pastor would do this for you in a session. Minimally, the pastor would correct the Cheater. However, you do not have to be passive in these situations. You have agency! If … Continue reading “Don’t have to take it.”
Still making demands?
If your cheater is still making demands…. …then you can be assured that they are not really sorry about cheating and did not really “get” the devastation of their sin against you. A person who cheats and grasps how awful a betrayal it is will not then turn on the faithful party to make relationship … Continue reading “Still making demands?”
“I protected YOUR reputation! So…”
“I protected YOUR reputation with our friends,” says Cheater. “So, I am asking you to do the same for me.” First, do not believe a proven liar, and Cheaters are proven liars. They are only saying this to control the narrative and protect their image. They assume here the faithful spouse will lie for their … Continue reading ““I protected YOUR reputation! So…””