Category: Sin

Cheater-Speak: “I never meant to hurt you.”

“I never meant to hurt you,” says Cheater. “So, does that make what you did less awful than it is in your head?” says Faithful Spouse. Imagine management. That is what such a statement is about. They are trying to portray themselves as mistaken as opposed to willfully cruel. Regardless of intentions, what they did … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “I never meant to hurt you.””

Cheater-Speak: “I love you, but I am not IN LOVE WITH you.”

“I love you, but I am not IN LOVE WITH you,” says lame Cheater. OR “I never loved you,” says cruel Cheater. Notice how these statements are all about the Cheater’s feelings. That is what is important to them. To be fair, they may have never loved you as they were not capable of loving … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “I love you, but I am not IN LOVE WITH you.””

All forgiven? Nope. God does not forgive everyone.

“And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.” -Matthew 7:23, KJV While I believe God makes forgiveness available to all (John 3:16, 2 Cor 5:14, etc), I do not believe all are forgiven. This verse from the Sermon on the Mount makes that much clear. … Continue reading “All forgiven? Nope. God does not forgive everyone.”

Only leverage

The wicked flee though no one pursues…. -Proverbs 28:1a, NIV Disturbed people only see a history of cheating as leverage in a marriage. They could care less how the cheating has damaged and harmed the faithful spouse. The bigger problem for them is that they fear the faithful spouse “forever” holding it “over the head” … Continue reading “Only leverage”

PSA: They did not “have to” cheat!

  Public Service Announcement (PSA): They did NOT have to cheat on you! No matter what. They chose sin over godliness, and that is on them. Personally, I think this is the most tragic thing about marital infidelity. It is also one of the oldest of lies–i.e. that they “had to” cheat. The cheater did … Continue reading “PSA: They did not “have to” cheat!”

Sick toying Cheaters

Some cheaters are acutely aware of the power they have over the faithful spouse. They understand that divorcing their spouse will mean the professional destruction of the faithful spouse. Plus, they may know that the faithful spouse is highly committed to working through even infidelity. With this knowledge, they toy with the faithful spouse taking … Continue reading “Sick toying Cheaters”

If everyone is focused on your “shortcomings”…

If everyone is focused on your “shortcomings,” then they aren’t bothering the Cheater. This is a classic move by Cheaters. They convince the pastor or other helper to focus upon the faithful spouse and their so called “shortcomings.” The faithful spouse takes the hit as they might be terrified of the marriage ending. It is … Continue reading “If everyone is focused on your “shortcomings”…”

Cheater-Speak: “But we were living apart then!”

“It is not adultery. We were living apart at the time,” says Cheater. A cheater trying to avoid responsibility for violating their marriage vows might attempt to use the “geography excuse.” This is the one where they excuse their behavior as “acceptable” since they were living apart from their spouse. The separation might have even … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “But we were living apart then!””