How dare we object to being humiliated by our Cheater?! How dare we object to our Cheater dirty dancing with someone else?! How dare we object to our Cheater taking another partner as their plus one?! How dare we object to our Cheater bad mouthing us to our “friends?!” Cheaters treat faithful spouses as the … Continue reading “How dare we? Ha.”
Category: Sin
Well, what did you contribute to the breakdown of your marriage?
“Well, what did you contribute to the breakdown of your marriage?” I hate that question. It is a “Loaded Question”–meaning it assumes you did something to destroy your marriage. Such questions are errors in reasoning–i.e. logical fallacies. While the question looks reasonable, it is really just a dressed up version of “The Shared Responsibility Lie,” … Continue reading “Well, what did you contribute to the breakdown of your marriage?”
“But I wasn’t perfect either.”
“But I wasn’t perfect in our marriage either,” says Faithful Spouse. Do you have to be without sin to be the innocent party regarding the end of your marriage? I remember going through my trial with the denomination and struggling with a version of this question. It was difficult to see myself as the “innocent … Continue reading ““But I wasn’t perfect either.””
On Cheaters Still Stuck
He will sit like a refiner of silver, burning away the dross. He will purify the Levites, refining them like gold and silver, so that they may once again offer acceptable sacrifices to the Lord. -Malachi 3:3, NLT Discovering infidelity is certainly a fiery trial. We can allow this fire to refine us as many of … Continue reading “On Cheaters Still Stuck”
The Confession Manipulation
So, your Cheater confesses to an affair. That’s a good first step to repentance, right?! Maybe…. Sadly, Cheaters can use confessions as a means to manipulate the faithful spouse. They try to contain the damage while blaming the faithful spouse for their sins. This is especially the case when the only confession is a confession … Continue reading “The Confession Manipulation”
Arrogant Cheaters
As the Scriptures say, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” -James 4:6b, NLT The spiritually fatal flaw of cheaters is their pride. They behave as if they know better than everyone, including God. Such individuals are beyond hope until they are humbled. Humility is essential for godliness. A cheater bereft of … Continue reading “Arrogant Cheaters”
Not all equal
My (now) ex and I went to a couple who were lay ministers. That was a mistake (if the goal was to avoid divorce). They were well-meaning people, but they were also very wrong in assessing our situation. Instead of focusing on my ex’s need to truly repent and repair our marriage due to her … Continue reading “Not all equal”
Acting entitled to your help
A stone is heavy and sand is weighty, But a fool’s wrath is heavier than both of them. -Proverbs 27:3, NKJV Have you ever noticed that Cheaters can’t be bothered to help you when you need it? However, they demand that you drop everything when they “need” something from you? They are such entitled creatures. And they can be cruel about … Continue reading “Acting entitled to your help”
Cheater-Speak: “I just want open and honest communication.”
“I just want open and honest communication,” says Cheater. Do Cheaters really want honesty and openness? No way! Cheating is no fun when you are faced with consequences that come with open honesty with your victim–i.e. the faithful spouse. Two-sided openness is such a drag for those committed to a lifestyle of deception. When Cheaters say that … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “I just want open and honest communication.””
Playing Catch Up
I do not know anyone through this ministry or otherwise who was once married to a Cheater where the infidelity deception did not entail significant time–i.e. months or years. All those lies do significant damage. We, faithful spouses, are playing catch up trying to piece together what was and wasn’t true over the years. This … Continue reading “Playing Catch Up”