I do not know anyone through this ministry or otherwise who was once married to a Cheater where the infidelity deception did not entail significant time–i.e. months or years. All those lies do significant damage. We, faithful spouses, are playing catch up trying to piece together what was and wasn’t true over the years. This … Continue reading “Playing Catch Up”
Category: Sin
Family Rule: Keeping up appearances
This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. -John 3:19, NIV Family Rule: Keep up appearances! I wonder how many of us, faithful spouses, married into families where appearances were of the utmost importance. Our Cheaters were conditioned from the earliest … Continue reading “Family Rule: Keeping up appearances”
A time for everything… including hate!
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: … a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. -Ecclesiastes 3:1, 8, NIV Did you know the Bible tells us a time exists to hate? So, this means hate is not … Continue reading “A time for everything… including hate!”
“Sounds like you believe that.”
“I’m being faithful to God,” says Cheater. “Sounds like you believe that,” replies faithful spouse knowing otherwise. I don’t miss arguing over reality with my Cheater. Those were crazy-making experiences. She would attempt to force her will on me to agree to a certain narrative. It was a power struggle. I am glad those days … Continue reading ““Sounds like you believe that.””
Sin is to be silent.
Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. -Ephesians 5:11, NIV If you know something, say something. It is that simple. We are commanded to expose the “deeds of darkness,” NOT to keep them hidden. If we do not obey a command, we are sinning. It is a sin … Continue reading “Sin is to be silent.”
CHOOSE your VICTORY narrative!
Instead of shame and dishonor, you will enjoy a double share of honor. -Isaiah 61:7a, NLT Why would you choose to accept the lie-filled narrative from your cheater as your own narrative? Choose your own victory narrative! Remember: You are not the rejected spouse. RATHER, you are the FAITHFUL SPOUSE! You are not the morally … Continue reading “CHOOSE your VICTORY narrative!”
Chillingly “good” liar
Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, But those who deal truthfully are His delight. -Proverbs 12:22, NKJV A Chilling Liar What is especially unnerving about discovering a Cheater who is a good liar is thinking about where the lies end. It is a bottomless pit! You cannot rely on your own ability to detect the lies as they … Continue reading “Chillingly “good” liar”
Blaming their misery on you!
“Can’t you see that I am ‘dying’ here!” says dramatic Cheater. Some Cheaters want to make you responsible for their happiness or misery. They refuse responsibility for their own feelings. The danger arises when we believe them and accept such responsibility, which isn’t ours to carry. We do not have the power to control the … Continue reading “Blaming their misery on you!”
Lying to Liar
Outside the city are the dogs–the sorcerers, the sexually immoral, the murderers, the idol worshipers, and all who love to live a lie. -Revelation 22:15, NLT Lie to Liar. At some point, I believe God gives cheaters over to their lies. They no longer are people telling lies. They are liars. The lie is what … Continue reading “Lying to Liar”
Somehow I was wrong?!
“This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.’” -Proverbs 30:20, NIV I wonder how many of us had “skilled” Cheaters who could turn their wrong into “our” fault in the therapist’s or pastor’s office. Maybe they even freely admitted to cheating on you … Continue reading “Somehow I was wrong?!”