Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up. -Proverbs 12:25, NIV Some TV Sit-Coms are just selfish stories about mean people using other people. Looking back on my first marriage, I think this was a red flag I discounted. My ex enjoyed the type of Sit-Coms where people used people for … Continue reading “Strange but still red flag”
Category: Sin
PSA: A partial truth still equals a lie.
Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?” – Genesis 3:1, NIV Public Service Announcement (PSA): A partial truth is still a lie. Some of the greatest … Continue reading “PSA: A partial truth still equals a lie.”
Pharisee or Enemy? Categories matter.
And whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two. -Matthew 5:41, NKJV In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness. -Matthew 23:28, NIV When dealing with a “Christian” cheater, another level of complexity is placed on Christians … Continue reading “Pharisee or Enemy? Categories matter.”
Self Destruction
Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. -I Corinthians 6:18, NIV Adultery is self-destructive sin. It is not life-giving. It is not joy-producing. It is not (ultimately) fulfilling. God condemns this behavior for how destructive it is. He made us … Continue reading “Self Destruction”
Kind no more
Your kindness will reward you, but your cruelty will destroy you. -Proverbs 11:17, NLT In the end, I remember a hardness of heart seemed to have come over my Cheater. Her best trait–kindness–was no longer evident to me. I think actions and choices can transform a person. We reject God’s invitations to righteousness enough, God … Continue reading “Kind no more”
PSA: Not everyone is reasonable!
Public Service Announcement (PSA): Not everyone will be reasonable! “Now think it over and see what you can do, because disaster is hanging over our master and his whole household. He is such a wicked man that no one can talk to him.” -Servant to Abigail, I Samuel 25:17, NIV This verse comes from … Continue reading “PSA: Not everyone is reasonable!”
Temptation to write off all…
When the infidelity betrayal is fresh, a temptation exists to write off an entire gender. I think this is very common for faithful spouses. I think it is part of the grief process. We feel vulnerable and betrayed. The trauma of it all makes us want to avoid putting ourselves in a place where … Continue reading “Temptation to write off all…”
Haughty Eyes and Lectures
There are six things the Lord hates— no, seven things he detests: haughty eyes, a lying tongue…. -Proverbs 6:16-17a, NLT One thing that is astounding looking back is how unaware of their arrogance Cheaters and their supporters were. They will lecture the adultery victim about being a “good Christian” while cheating or supporting the Cheater. With absolutely … Continue reading “Haughty Eyes and Lectures”
Anger leftovers
“Anger has something to tell us; it’s sometimes the gift that alerts us of wrong in the world.” -Susannah Griffith in Forgiveness After Trauma: A Path to Find Healing and Empowerment, Brazos Press, Grand Rapids, MI, 2024 (pp 71). I am currently reading this book on the topic of forgiveness and trauma. Thus far, it is … Continue reading “Anger leftovers”
Pure Escapism!
Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned? -Proverbs 6:27, NIV Pure Escapism I think it is important for faithful spouses to remember that their Cheater is indulging in fantasy. Their illicit relationship is not based in substance and therefore is doomed from the start. It is escapism. Instead of … Continue reading “Pure Escapism!”