“She cheated on you? Well, did you take her for granted?” -Cruel, Cheater-Apologist Pastor What I find interesting about accusations about ingratitude is how they seem one-sided when a cheater is involved. The faithful spouse is fair game to be criticized for not showing enough gratitude for their spouse. This is doubly the case if … Continue reading “Cheater Ingratitude”
Category: Sin
Detaching from their hypocritical ways
“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cumin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former.” -Matthew 23:23, NIV Healing from Religious Hypocrites A major learning curve for … Continue reading “Detaching from their hypocritical ways”
PSA: Your second marriage is not doomed!
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. -2 Timothy 1:7, KJV I am deeply troubled by how acceptable it is within Christian leadership to use fear about divorce against faithful spouses. If you are like me, you have heard the terrifying … Continue reading “PSA: Your second marriage is not doomed!”
Amplifying your “sins”
You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. -Matthew 7:5, NIV A cheater is often eager, usually, to magnify or amplify your flaws or sins–this is especially true when you both are talking with a pastor or counselor. … Continue reading “Amplifying your “sins””
On Forgiveness: The Broken Vase Parable
Another thing you do: You flood the Lord’s altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer looks with favor on your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. You ask, “Why?” It is because the Lord is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been … Continue reading “On Forgiveness: The Broken Vase Parable”
Did she ever confess?
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. -I John 1:9, NIV And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. -Ephesians 4:32, NKJV Did your Cheater confess their sins? If you are like … Continue reading “Did she ever confess?”
Entitled users
Here is the deceptive way of the adulterous woman: she takes what she wants and then says, “I’ve done nothing wrong.” -Proverbs 30:20, TPT Cheaters are entitled users. They bank on the faithful spouse trusting them to continue their deceptions without consequences (like a divorce and all that comes with that). In other words, they … Continue reading “Entitled users”
“Unmet Needs” Excuse–aka Lie
The “Unmet Needs” Theory Lie: Put succinctly… …teaches faithful spouses that their deficiencies at home is what drove the adulterous spouse to cheat. The faithful spouse was not sexually available enough. The faithful spouse was not emotionally adept and engaged enough. You know the drill. I have heard in horror how even pastors operate under … Continue reading ““Unmet Needs” Excuse–aka Lie”
Tension between justice and mercy regarding forgiveness
21 “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ 22 “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. -Luke 15:21-22, NIV Lately, I have … Continue reading “Tension between justice and mercy regarding forgiveness”
Cheater Apologist: Well, are you without sin?!
“She has been cheating on me these last few months. I can’t stay married to her considering all of that,” says the faithful spouse. “Don’t be so hasty. After all, are you without sin?” says the cheater apologist. Such a response from a “Christian” cheater apologist is far from helpful. Not all sins have the … Continue reading “Cheater Apologist: Well, are you without sin?!”