Category: Sin

Dear DM, Is her abandonment unfaithfulness?

Dear DM, Thank you for your ministry to survivors of infidelity abuse. My former wife of 25 years abandoned me and our minor son back in 2019. Although she denied having an extra-marital affair, I cannot seriously believe she would have left her son unless she had crossed a line of no return. That line … Continue reading “Dear DM, Is her abandonment unfaithfulness?”

I believe God can raise the dead, but…

I believe God can and does raise the dead, but… …I still do funerals. This is my stance on marriages ravaged by infidelity. I believe some can be resurrected; however, that is a miracle. It is about as common as a funeral ending in a resurrection today. That is to say, not common. The natural … Continue reading “I believe God can raise the dead, but…”

Contrast to the usual “Christian” resources

While I am thankful for the help of some Christian resources in my dark season, I discovered most had an agenda apart from freely presenting the options. Most Christian resources–in my experience–are focused upon “saving the marriage.” This goal is pursued at the unacknowledged cost of the faithful spouse’s well-being. For these authors and pastors, … Continue reading “Contrast to the usual “Christian” resources”

Marital Infidelity Abuse Survivors

4 Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery. -Hebrews 13:4, NLT “Marital Infidelity Abuse Survivors” This is the phrase I find myself using to describe my ministry here and in person to others in the Church. I might … Continue reading “Marital Infidelity Abuse Survivors”

Sheep and Wolves

15 “Beware of false prophets who come disguised as harmless sheep but are really vicious wolves. 16 You can identify them by their fruit, that is, by the way they act.” -Matthew 7:15-16a, NLT A common pastoral care error committed by even well-meaning leaders is to fail to recognize an important distinction: Perpetrators and Victims–a.k.a. Wolves and Sheep. … Continue reading “Sheep and Wolves”

Eric Volz messed up view on Clergy Sexual Abuse in interview re: IHOPKC

“… and I think there is a certain number of practitioners [trauma informed investigators] that The Advocate Group would only accept because it would increase the likelihood that there would be abuse found in their investigation. So, for example, there are people that would say anytime someone in ministry has any form of sexual contact … Continue reading “Eric Volz messed up view on Clergy Sexual Abuse in interview re: IHOPKC”

No, God does not expect us to be “friends.”

The righteous choose their friends carefully,     but the way of the wicked leads them astray. -Proverbs 12:26, NIV The beauty of friendship is that we get to CHOOSE who we have as friends! I encourage you to choose friends who behave like friends. And I encourage you to jettison those who refuse to choose between … Continue reading “No, God does not expect us to be “friends.””

Smokescreen: Emotional Affair As “Symptom” Blameshift.

14 Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. 15 These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death. -James 1:14-15, NLT Emotional Affairs (EA) are wrong. They are sin as they are the breach of marriage vows to “forsake all others.” The … Continue reading “Smokescreen: Emotional Affair As “Symptom” Blameshift.”