Parents of Divorcees And Disenfranchised Grief

Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and nights. No one said a word to Job, for they saw that his suffering was too great for words. – Job 2:13, NLT   Adultery effects more than just the couple. So does divorce. After preaching, I was pulled aside and asked about … Continue reading “Parents of Divorcees And Disenfranchised Grief”

Even evil plans…

“You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.” -Genesis 50:20, NLT This verse is Joseph speaking to his fearful brothers after the death of their father. These are the same brothers who almost murdered him and … Continue reading “Even evil plans…”

The Heart Knows…

The heart has its reasons, which reason does not know. – Blaise Pascal (1623-1662), French Philosopher, Thoughts, #277  It was three years ago this past Monday… ….when I was served the divorce papers by a marshal on my way to celebrate my graduation from my very first unit of Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE).  That day seems … Continue reading “The Heart Knows…”

Pity Or Empathy: Responding to the Divorced

Divorcee:“I’m divorced.” Christian church-goer:“I’m sorry. That’s too bad.” Sometimes, it is easy to feel like one has a scarlet “D” tattooed to one’s backside. Do I have to justify my divorce to every Christian to whom I reveal my marital status? I know some of us do not struggle with this. Some people seem bulletproof … Continue reading “Pity Or Empathy: Responding to the Divorced”

Divorce Context in Jesus’ Day

If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house… Deuteronomy 24:1, NIV A puzzle I have not attacked–until now–is over why Matthew is the only Gospel that provides … Continue reading “Divorce Context in Jesus’ Day”

Guilty For NOT Confronting Adulterous Spouses

When I say to the wicked, ‘You wicked person, you will surely die,’ and you do not speak out to dissuade them from their ways, that wicked person will die for their sin, and I will hold you accountable for their blood. But if you do warn the wicked person to turn from their ways and … Continue reading “Guilty For NOT Confronting Adulterous Spouses”

Forgiveness Looks Like For Me

“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” – Matthew 6:14-15, NIV Forgiveness is a rather difficult concept to grasp. But it is vital to grasp it as Jesus is … Continue reading “Forgiveness Looks Like For Me”

“I care about you…”

The words of the reckless pierce like swords,     but the tongue of the wise brings healing. -Proverbs 12:18, NIV   I care about you but not enough… …to end my friendship with the adulterous spouse until she repents. My thoughts: “Sorry, your concern for me sounds skin deep. Scripture is clear that a person who … Continue reading ““I care about you…””

Full Strength Medicine Needed!

“She always struck me as the type that needed to take her medicine straight up.” – J, a friend from seminary, referring to my (now) ex-wife These pearls of wisdom came from a true friend during a time when I was floundering. I needed to grow a backbone quickly. Thankfully, I had a friend like … Continue reading “Full Strength Medicine Needed!”

“You Need To Forgive Your Adulterous Spouse.”

  “You sound angry. I really think you need to forgive your spouse for cheating on you. Forgive and forget. After all, Jesus did that for you.” -Christian “Friend” to Faithful Spouse The most hurtful pieces of advice usually have a hint of truth as does this one. We do need to forgive our spouses … Continue reading ““You Need To Forgive Your Adulterous Spouse.””