Give Up Trying To Get Agreement

  A sage trying to work things out with a fool     gets only scorn and sarcasm for his trouble. Proverbs 29:9, The Message When I was processing the end of my marriage and even while I was still fighting for it not to end in divorce, I wasted a lot of energy contending over the marriage narrative … Continue reading “Give Up Trying To Get Agreement”

Problem With “I Never Recommend Divorce” Stance

“I never recommend divorce, but I will say, I’ll go as far as separation.” – Dr. David Clarke in 7/22/15 interview on Focus on the Family® While I generally agree with Dr. Clarke’s approach to dealing with infidelity, I strongly disagree with him on this point.* Sometimes I will recommend divorce if it means protecting a spouse … Continue reading “Problem With “I Never Recommend Divorce” Stance”

Married Is Not Dating

  She was the brash, rebellious type,     never content to stay at home. She is often in the streets and markets,     soliciting at every corner. She threw her arms around him and kissed him,     and with a brazen look she said … “Come, let’s drink our fill of love until morning.     Let’s enjoy each other’s … Continue reading “Married Is Not Dating”

“I’m not defined by my past.”

Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people—none of these will inherit … Continue reading ““I’m not defined by my past.””

Cruelty and Clarity

A righteous man regardeth the life of his beast: but the tender mercies of the wicked are cruel. – Proverbs 12:10, KJV Clarity can come from strange places. And peace may flow from a time of unquieted anxiety. I discovered these truths in my healing journey from learning of my former spouse’s infidelity and the … Continue reading “Cruelty and Clarity”

True Remorse and the Cheater’s Self-Forgiveness Struggle

Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern,what readiness to see justice done. At every point you have proved yourselves to be … Continue reading “True Remorse and the Cheater’s Self-Forgiveness Struggle”

It was a hug.

“Goodbye in her eyes” by Zac Brown Band It wasn’t a kiss. It was a hug. We had just finished our dentist appointments. She had forgotten that she had made joint appointments. I had already confronted her about the Other Man about two weeks prior. She was still lying about him. Still denying adultery. But … Continue reading “It was a hug.”

Job Did NOT Cheat.

Then his wife said to him, “Do you still hold fast to your integrity? Curse God and die!”  But he said to her, “You speak as one of the foolish women speaks. Shall we indeed accept good from God, and shall we not accept adversity?” – Job 2:9-10a, NKJV His wealth was all stolen. His … Continue reading “Job Did NOT Cheat.”