“And I tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery–unless his wife has been unfaithful.” -Matthew 19:9, NLT What did YOU contribute to your marriage’s breakdown?! Years ago, I used to believe this was a reasonable question to ask any divorced individual. After all, we are imperfect creatures. We … Continue reading “Christian-ese: “Own your part of the marriage’s breakdown.””
Category: Sin
Adultery needs exposure for the evil it is.
But those elders who are sinning you are to reprove before everyone, so that the others may take warning. -I Timothy 5:20, NIV Over the years, people like to judge me for continuing this blog ministry: “He must be bitter.” “I am concerned about his new family. He you would think he would have moved on … Continue reading “Adultery needs exposure for the evil it is.”
Starting Point: Cheating is abuse.
Starting Point: Cheating is abuse. The more I do this work, the more I am convinced this is THE defining assumption missing among Christian leaders. They treat adultery as less than abuse. If they get this assumption wrong, then all sorts of bad counsel flows from it. Conversely, if they get this assumption correct, there … Continue reading “Starting Point: Cheating is abuse.”
God required changed actions!
“If you want to come back, O Israel, you must really come back to me. You must get rid of your stinking sin paraphernalia and not wander away from me anymore.” -Jeremiah 4:1 (from 1-2 block), THE MESSAGE This verse comes on the heals of the chapter where God declares His divorce of Israel over … Continue reading “God required changed actions!”
Emphasize repentance!
4 On the day Jonah entered the city, he shouted to the crowds: “Forty days from now Nineveh will be destroyed!” -Jonah 3:4, NLT Cheaters need pastors focused on exhorting them to repent. We do them no favors by holding back about this important spiritual work. Their souls are in danger (see Heb 10:26-27). Instead of … Continue reading “Emphasize repentance!”
Speculating on why divorce is treated as worse
The Lord will make you the head, not the tail. If you pay attention to the commands of the Lord your God that I give you this day and carefully follow them, you will always be at the top, never at the bottom. -Deuteronomy 28:13, NIV Why is divorce treated from the pulpit as worse than enduring unrepentant adultery in … Continue reading “Speculating on why divorce is treated as worse”
Give up on being the “model victim”
3 Defend the weak and the fatherless; uphold the cause of the poor and the oppressed. 4 Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked. -Psalm 82:3-4, NIV Do you ever feel like you have to be the “model victim” when sharing your adultery abuse story with other Christians? This might manifest … Continue reading “Give up on being the “model victim””
Cheater Speak: “I made a mistake…”
“It was a mistake. Come on! Give me a break.” -Cheater Adultery is far more than “a mistake.” The word just makes me cringe internally when I see or hear it used to talk about infidelity. In one sense, the word is accurate. The person did something wrong. A “mistake” highlights that. However, the word … Continue reading “Cheater Speak: “I made a mistake…””
Adultery Tolerant Churches
Boasting over your tolerance of sin is inappropriate. -I Corinthians 5:6a, TPT Some churches welcome adulterous spouses. They have no shame about this behavior. In fact, they celebrate how welcoming they are to these folks. It truly is head-scratching to think they see this sort of behavior as a faithful witness to how God wants … Continue reading “Adultery Tolerant Churches”
Valuable Integrity
Choose a good reputation over great riches; being held in high esteem is better than silver or gold. -Proverbs 22:1, NLT When a spouse cheats, they destroy their reputation. They demonstrate a lack of integrity. People learning of this reality is not the problem. It is the bad actions that are! Many cheaters are upset about … Continue reading “Valuable Integrity”