20 My companion attacks his friends; he violates his covenant. 21 His talk is smooth as butter, yet war is in his heart; his words are more soothing than oil, yet they are drawn swords. -Psalm 55:20-21, NIV The shock is real. You thought you were married to one person, and their behavior is revealing them to … Continue reading “Yes, they could. They did!”
Category: Sin
Cheater Rage
If a wise person goes to court with a fool, the fool rages and scoffs, and there is no peace. -Proverbs 29:9, NIV Cheaters hate your boundaries. They despise accountability. They want what they want, and they want it NOW! I say this to remind you that their anger does NOT mean you are in … Continue reading “Cheater Rage”
Too trusting and naive
“When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.” -I Corinthians 13:11, NIV Most of my fellow pastors are ill-equipped to handle situations where adultery is present. Seminary trains us … Continue reading “Too trusting and naive”
I doubt it.
Even a child is known by his doings, Whether his work be pure, and whether it be right. -Proverbs 20:11, KJV Do I think my Cheater (and her sinful cohorts) have changed for the better? I doubt it. Character does not change overnight. My last contact with my ex-wife had her stuck in arguing realities … Continue reading “I doubt it.”
Could have chosen differently!
For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad. -2 Corinthians 5:10, KJV Stop. Stop beating yourself up over your cheater’s sins. I know it is tempting to keep analyzing … Continue reading “Could have chosen differently!”
Entitled to Forgiveness?!
26 If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, 27 but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God. -Hebrews 10:26-27, NIV These verses ought to give pause to every Christian believing repentance is irrelevant to receiving God’s forgiveness. … Continue reading “Entitled to Forgiveness?!”
Vulnerability of being a Pastor Faithful Spouse
2 Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach…. 4 He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect. -I Timothy 3:2, 4, NIV Because divorce prejudice is real … Continue reading “Vulnerability of being a Pastor Faithful Spouse”
At peace finally saying, “I did not cause my divorce.”
My ex-wife cheated on me and chose divorce over repenting from her sins. That is how my first marriage ended. I was looking at some old papers recently that chronicled my ecclesiastical trial and aftermath. One thing that stuck out to me was this assumption that “no one is completely innocent” in a divorce. Such … Continue reading “At peace finally saying, “I did not cause my divorce.””
Symptom? Sure, of a wicked heart!
21 “For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come—sexual immorality, theft, murder, 22 adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. 23 All these evils come from inside and defile a person.” -Mark 7:21-23, NIV A typical response from some folks about cheating is treating as a symptom of marriage problems. That … Continue reading “Symptom? Sure, of a wicked heart!”
Therapist missing the mark
Even a child is known by his doings, Whether his work be pure, and whether it be right. -Proverbs 20:11, KJV We, faithful spouses, have a tendency to put up with terrible “help.” I know I did. A Cheater could confess to an emotional affair with a therapist or pastor present, and then we would … Continue reading “Therapist missing the mark”