“She (Affair Partner) has nothing to do with us,” says Cheater. Cheaters say this, and sadly, they believe it. They do not see how having an affair partner is a major problem for their marriage. In their minds, they have already believed the lie that they are entitled to this relationship. It has been–conveniently for … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “She has nothing to do with us.””
Category: Sin
The betrayed is Jesus!
23 For I received from the Lord what I also passed on to you: The Lord Jesus, on the night he was betrayed, took bread…. -I Corinthians 11:23, NIV (Emphasis mine) I was listening to a podcast the other day and was struck by this well-known passage. These words have been spoken for thousand of years … Continue reading “The betrayed is Jesus!”
Validation before talking forgiveness
Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and nights. No one said a word to Job, for they saw that his suffering was too great for words. -Job 2:13, NLT Please do not underestimate how traumatic and disorienting discovering marital infidelity is! Speaking from my personal experience as well as from … Continue reading “Validation before talking forgiveness”
Complications from “theft of reality”
I do not remember precisely where I read or heard the term “theft of reality.” Most likely, I came upon it through Chump Lady or one of the many books I have read on spiritual abuse. “Theft of reality” is a term used to describe how we–faithful spouses–experience a marital narrative with serious truth–and thereby … Continue reading “Complications from “theft of reality””
Not right to put onus onto faithful spouse!
In those days John the Baptist came, preaching in the wilderness of Judea and saying, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near.” -Matthew 3:1-2, NIV “You got to fight for your marriage!” says Christian leader. I find it odd, these days, to think how the Christian community puts “saving the marriage” on the faithful spouse. … Continue reading “Not right to put onus onto faithful spouse!”
On “Root of Bitterness”
See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. -Hebrews 12:15, NIV In order to avoid the discomfort of facing injustice and naming it as such, some Christians turn on faithful spouses calling them “bitter.” They are too … Continue reading “On “Root of Bitterness””
Made into some kind of monster
The man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.” -Genesis 3:12, NIV Cheaters are known to make their spouse out to be a monster. If you are a faithful man, the go-to is a cheater claiming that you are a threat. They portray … Continue reading “Made into some kind of monster”
Reminder: Cheating is abuse!
Should a man take his body, which is part of Christ, and join it to a prostitute? Never! – I Corinthians 6:15b, NLT When someone is a cheater, they are also an abuser. You cannot have one without the other. Soul rape is abusive. I am astounded by how cheating and adultery are too often treated … Continue reading “Reminder: Cheating is abuse!”
Striking when most vulnerable
Judah hath dealt treacherously, and an abomination is committed in Israel and in Jerusalem; for Judah hath profaned the holiness of the Lord which he loved, and hath married the daughter of a strange god. -Malachi 2:11, KJV A sadly common phenomenon in many infidelity stories is how the cheater discards the faithful spouse precisely while the … Continue reading “Striking when most vulnerable”
Hate adultery, NOT divorce!
Declaring a hatred of divorce is akin to declaring a hatred of amputation. Healthy people do not go around hoping to get an amputation. However, a doctor might suggest an amputation to stop an infection from killing them. Does it make sense to tell that patient, “I hate amputation?” Divorce is an unfortunately necessary procedure … Continue reading “Hate adultery, NOT divorce!”