No marriage left to save as long as still cheating!

Public Service Notice: As long as the cheater is still cheating, you do not have a marriage to save. You cannot fix this situation on your own. No matter how much you want to stay married. That is all you will do. You will stay attached to your abuser. What you won’t have is a … Continue reading “No marriage left to save as long as still cheating!”

Get out of the wicked cycle

Anyone recognize the following cycle? Cheat.  Cheater says, “It was a ‘cry for help.’ [Insert favorite blame directed at faithful spouse].” Cheat, again. Cheater says, “Our marriage problems have nothing to do with [affair partner]. You know that you [insert favorite blame directed at faithful spouse].” Continues cheating. This cycle is nothing new. Cheaters do … Continue reading “Get out of the wicked cycle”

Divorce is NOT the enemy! Sin is.

But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. -Matthew 5:28, NLT Public Service Announcement: Divorce is NOT the enemy. Sin IS! A pet peeve of mine is hearing pastors talk about the tragedy of divorce as if this the problem. Such talk … Continue reading “Divorce is NOT the enemy! Sin is.”

A shot at reconciliation denied.

Peace. One of the things that gave me peace–after some time of healing–about my first marriage ending was that I gave it a shot. I left the door open to a godly reconciliation. Once I knew about the adultery, I kicked the ball back into her court. I gave her the option of repenting from … Continue reading “A shot at reconciliation denied.”

Dumb Stuff “Christians” Say Regarding Cheating Situations

Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues. -Proverbs 17:28 More Christians could learn from that fool from Proverbs 17:28 who held his tongue when it comes to marriages ravaged by adultery. Sadly, the advice (and condemnation) come all too freely for faithful spouses.  Here a few … Continue reading “Dumb Stuff “Christians” Say Regarding Cheating Situations”

Marriage day vows are a solemn promise to choose your spouse

‘”6 Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.’” -Matthew 19:6, NLT Today, I was at a conference where the speaker, Steve Backlund, said something about marriage and making decisions. He stated that the marriage vows really say, “I’m going to keep choosing you.” I totally … Continue reading “Marriage day vows are a solemn promise to choose your spouse”

God did not fail as the head of the marriage!

She saw that I divorced faithless Israel because of her adultery. -Jeremiah 3:8a, NLT For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church…. -Ephesians 5:23a, KJV When pastors and elders choose to blame marriages ending on men failing as “spiritual heads,” I would like them to … Continue reading “God did not fail as the head of the marriage!”

Counts as cheating?

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” -Matthew 5:27-28, NIV “I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” -Matthew … Continue reading “Counts as cheating?”