“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!” -Isaiah 43:18-19a, NIV Sometimes the marriage is not fixable, and it comes time to focus on a new thing. A cheater who refuses to repent makes a marriage not fixable. It would be unwise to reinvest in a … Continue reading “Sometimes it is not fixable.”
Category: Theology of divorce
We still have cemeteries.
Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all people, because all sinned…. -Romans 5:12, NIV We still have cemeteries. In fact, I have one less than a mile from my house. It is a pretty full one at that. We still … Continue reading “We still have cemeteries.”
It is a funny thing!
Thou shalt not commit adultery. -Exodus 20:14, KJV Funny how “Christian” folk are swift to condemn divorce but slower and “nuanced” when it comes to condemning adultery. I think such is a sign of immaturity, minimally. It may even be a sign of someone not truly knowing God as God’s heart on these matters could … Continue reading “It is a funny thing!”
Most “Christian” resources I found during my difficult time…
While I am thankful for the help of some Christian resources in my dark season, I discovered most had an agenda apart from freely presenting the options. Most Christian resources–in my experience–are focused upon “saving the marriage.” This goal is pursued at the unacknowledged cost of the faithful spouse’s well-being. For these authors and pastors, … Continue reading “Most “Christian” resources I found during my difficult time…”
Hi DM, I agree, but I have heard so many Christians tell faithful spouses…
Hi DM, It is true that the cheater almost never repents when discovered, at least most of the time. But I’ve heard so many Christians tell faithful spouses that they should pray for their love ones to repent, that it is their duty to keep the marriage because it is a covenant and they can … Continue reading “Hi DM, I agree, but I have heard so many Christians tell faithful spouses…”
Cheater-Speak: “It wasn’t such a big deal!”
“Come on! It wasn’t a big deal. How you are reacting is exactly why I didn’t tell you.” -Cheater When a cheater responds this way, they are engaging in gas-lighting. Let me explain: They know whatever happened IS a big deal to you. You are clearly upset. So, they say this to cover for themselves … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “It wasn’t such a big deal!””
A master’s class in recognizing spiritual abuse and religious manipulations
In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness. -Matthew 23:28, NIV Dealing with a religious cheater and religious supporters of said cheater results in a master’s class in spiritual abuse tactics and religious manipulations. The lessons I have learned … Continue reading “A master’s class in recognizing spiritual abuse and religious manipulations”
PSA: The worst piece of advice I followed in my first marriage’s ending.
“Contend with your mother, contend, For she is not my wife, and I am not her husband; And let her put away her harlotry from her face And her adultery from between her breasts…” -Hosea 2:2, NASB While I do not mind the end result–the merciful divorce paving the way to my marriage to Mrs. DM–I am still … Continue reading “PSA: The worst piece of advice I followed in my first marriage’s ending.”
Worldly Wisdom says, “Own your part to the marriage’s breakdown.”
“And I tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery–unless his wife has been unfaithful.” -Matthew 19:9, NLT What did YOU contribute to your marriage’s breakdown?! Years ago, I used to believe this was a reasonable question to ask any divorced individual. After all, we are imperfect creatures. We … Continue reading “Worldly Wisdom says, “Own your part to the marriage’s breakdown.””
Mailbag: What is our role?
Pastor David, I did want to ask your opinion/insight on something else if you don’t mind. I am struggling with what our role is as Christians when it comes to this sexual sin that is permeating our society and destroying marriages. I don’t want to let my pain blind me from the truth of the … Continue reading “Mailbag: What is our role?”