It only takes one to end the marriage. So often this fact is missed in the evangelical church. They teach as if both have a say in the marriage ending. That is simply not always the case. Many have experienced the double trauma of being cheated on and then discarded by the cheater. Without knowing … Continue reading “Only takes one.”
Category: Theology of divorce
Why are you no longer married? Ask the cheater.
“The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?” -Jeremiah 17:9, NLT Feeling obligated to have an explanation for an abandonment or divorce plays a significant role in the suffering of faithful spouses. It is crazy-making. You do not have access to the thoughts … Continue reading “Why are you no longer married? Ask the cheater.”
On fools and foolish arguments.
Don’t answer the foolish arguments of fools, or you will become as foolish as they are. -Proverbs 26:4, NLT If someone is not willing to listen, save your breath. They have made up their mind, and you are best moving on. You do not need to stick your head into that mind-blender. Move on. Let … Continue reading “On fools and foolish arguments.”
Dear DM, Are second marriages adulterous?
Hi DM, I know that my comment would have almost nothing to do with your OG post, but I’ve been really struggling with this and I need your help. I’m a Pentecostal Christian, my wife let me years ago due to infidelity, she had lots of “lovers”, my life has been a mess since then … Continue reading “Dear DM, Are second marriages adulterous?”
A Lesson after looking back…
Friends, pastors, and counselors can be valuable resources; however… ….you will ultimately be the one who has to live with your decision about your marriage and answer for it before God (see 2 Cor 5:10). One of my mistakes in my marriage’s dissolution years ago was allowing far too many people into the inner sanctum … Continue reading “A Lesson after looking back…”
Friendly divorce narrative
But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery. -Matthew 5:32, NIV “Yeah, we weren’t right for each other. But we are still friends,” says a divorcee. Within Christian circles, the friendly divorce seems to … Continue reading “Friendly divorce narrative”
Recalibrating Expectations: Marriage resurrection is not the norm.
….but the angel said, “Don’t be alarmed. You are looking for Jesus of Nazareth, who was crucified. He isn’t here! He is risen from the dead! Look, this is where they laid his body.” -Mark 16:6, NLT Resurrection is unexpected. It is not how things normally go. This is in part why Jesus coming back from … Continue reading “Recalibrating Expectations: Marriage resurrection is not the norm.”
Hosea had a special call on his life from God!
When the Lord began to speak by Hosea, the Lord said to Hosea: “Go, take yourself a wife of harlotry And children of harlotry, For the land has committed great harlotry By departing from the Lord.” – Hosea 1:2, NKJV What strikes me as in the last post is how biblically educated men can miss how this was a very special call upon … Continue reading “Hosea had a special call on his life from God!”
Silencing of faithful spouses by the Christian community
May all who gloat over my distress be put to shame and confusion; may all who exalt themselves over me be clothed with shame and disgrace. -Psalm 35:25, NIV Churches and church leaders, generally speaking, are not good at giving faithful spouses a voice and reaffirming their agency. At least, that is my experience. What is common … Continue reading “Silencing of faithful spouses by the Christian community”
Assumption regarding faithful spouses staying
Another megachurch pastor has fallen from his position via marital infidelity. This time it involved a megachurch pastor in Orlando, FL. In his article “Orlando Church Community Reels from News of Another Pastor Scandal,” reporter Jackson Elliott expounds that Zach Van Dyke of Summit Church (Herndon Campus) admitted to an affair. While this is a … Continue reading “Assumption regarding faithful spouses staying”