“And I tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery–unless his wife has been unfaithful.” -Matthew 19:9, NLT What did YOU contribute to your marriage’s breakdown?! Years ago, I used to believe this was a reasonable question to ask any divorced individual. After all, we are imperfect creatures. We … Continue reading “Christian-ese: “Own your part of the marriage’s breakdown.””
Category: Theology of divorce
Starting Point: Cheating is abuse.
Starting Point: Cheating is abuse. The more I do this work, the more I am convinced this is THE defining assumption missing among Christian leaders. They treat adultery as less than abuse. If they get this assumption wrong, then all sorts of bad counsel flows from it. Conversely, if they get this assumption correct, there … Continue reading “Starting Point: Cheating is abuse.”
God required changed actions!
“If you want to come back, O Israel, you must really come back to me. You must get rid of your stinking sin paraphernalia and not wander away from me anymore.” -Jeremiah 4:1 (from 1-2 block), THE MESSAGE This verse comes on the heals of the chapter where God declares His divorce of Israel over … Continue reading “God required changed actions!”
Speculating on why divorce is treated as worse
The Lord will make you the head, not the tail. If you pay attention to the commands of the Lord your God that I give you this day and carefully follow them, you will always be at the top, never at the bottom. -Deuteronomy 28:13, NIV Why is divorce treated from the pulpit as worse than enduring unrepentant adultery in … Continue reading “Speculating on why divorce is treated as worse”
More troubled by divorce than adultery
Thou shalt not commit adultery. -Exodus 20:14, KJV In some Christian circles, the only unpardonable sin in a marriage is filing for divorce. Everything else might be frowned upon but does not receive the vitriol from the pulpit that choosing divorce does. Such priorities are evidence of idolatry as this is not how God treats … Continue reading “More troubled by divorce than adultery”
At peace finally saying, “I did not cause my divorce.”
My ex-wife cheated on me and chose divorce over repenting from her sins. That is how my first marriage ended. I was looking at some old papers recently that chronicled my ecclesiastical trial and aftermath. One thing that stuck out to me was this assumption that “no one is completely innocent” in a divorce. Such … Continue reading “At peace finally saying, “I did not cause my divorce.””
Therapist missing the mark
Even a child is known by his doings, Whether his work be pure, and whether it be right. -Proverbs 20:11, KJV We, faithful spouses, have a tendency to put up with terrible “help.” I know I did. A Cheater could confess to an emotional affair with a therapist or pastor present, and then we would … Continue reading “Therapist missing the mark”
“Agreed, you didn’t file the papers.”
“Agreed, you didn’t file the [divorce] papers.” -Church Official After I had successfully defended my ministerial license with my now former denomination, I was forced to undergo a year of pastoral “care.” The official in charge of this year–knowing the awful details of my divorce–made a version of the above statement. If you did not … Continue reading ““Agreed, you didn’t file the papers.””
Divorce: A choice of a righteous man!
NIV1984 Righteous. This is the word used in the same sentence about a man choosing divorce in light of (assumed) adultery. The Bible has forever associated the word righteous with the choice to divorce. It is part of the Christmas story! God does not shame Joseph in this passage for deciding to divorce a pregnant … Continue reading “Divorce: A choice of a righteous man!”
My ministry philosophy
35 Jesus went through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness. 36 When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. -Matthew 9:35-36, NIV My hurt is burdened for those who are … Continue reading “My ministry philosophy”