Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. -Ephesians 5:11, NIV I am several years removed from my divorce and all the sinful, destructive shenanigans my cheating ex pulled. In fact, Mrs. DM and I will be observing our 3rd wedding anniversary later this month. So, why keep talking … Continue reading “Silence Helps Evil”
Category: Theology of divorce
Words seasoned with mercy born of experience
4 Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. … 7 Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. -Matthew 5:4,7, NIV Experience is not a fail-safe teacher. After all, you have to be paying attention to learn. That said, I have noticed people who have gone through … Continue reading “Words seasoned with mercy born of experience”
Many Miserably Married Yet Don’t Cheat!
Christians seem especially invested in the marriage autopsy. I think this is part of the control fascination. It is the idea that we control whether or not our spouse cheats and/or abandons us. For us to accept the truth–i.e. we do NOT control whether or not our spouse cheats on and/or abandons us–makes us feel … Continue reading “Many Miserably Married Yet Don’t Cheat!”
Adultery, Divorce, and My Situation in the EFCA
Recently, I came across an article written by my endorsing organization, The National Association of Evangelicals. This article is entitled, “Can Pastors be Restored After Adultery.” It was posted in May 2012. The article is more or less a report from a poll taken from evangelical leaders on the question posed as the post’s title: … Continue reading “Adultery, Divorce, and My Situation in the EFCA”
Not up to you to stay married…
It is not up to you alone to stay married. This is a painful truth that the church needs to internalize. Divorce need not be chosen by both partners. One spouse can unilaterally decide to leave… …for any–or no–reason whatsoever! It is possible to have one spouse invested in seeing the marriage work 100% plus. That does … Continue reading “Not up to you to stay married…”
Spiritual Suffering Best Addressed By Spiritual Counselors
A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. -Proverbs 17:22, NIV Much of the suffering faithful spouses experience is spiritual in nature. Writing this blog for a couple of years, the questions I encounter center around deep spiritual pain and confusion. These are not so much the nuts and … Continue reading “Spiritual Suffering Best Addressed By Spiritual Counselors”
Mailbag: Out of the blue, my pastor announced his wife cheated on and divorced him.
Dear Divorce Minister, I am a adultery (victim) survivor. I actually think my stumble onto your webpage was an answer to my prayer. Recently a minister in my large church dropped a bombshell on the congregation. He told us that his wife had had an affair, and divorced him. He never prior to this announcement … Continue reading “Mailbag: Out of the blue, my pastor announced his wife cheated on and divorced him.”
On Self-Righteous, Religious Pricks
“And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? … Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye…” – Matthew 7:3, 5a, NLT When I was going through my trials, I had no shortage of religious people willing to “help” me see my “sin” or … Continue reading “On Self-Righteous, Religious Pricks”
Thinking Critically: Is someone less culpable for murder if their victim has cancer?
“Sure, I cheated. But that is not what killed our marriage. You…” -Cheater Is someone who shoots and kills a cancer patient less of a murderer because his victim had cancer? Of course, not. Generally speaking, we do not waste weeks and months trying to figure out what killed someone when they obviously bled out … Continue reading “Thinking Critically: Is someone less culpable for murder if their victim has cancer?”
Divorce is partial soul amputation.
‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. -Matthew 19:5b-6a, NIV Like animal who gnaws off a limb to escape from a trap and certain death, a faithful spouse leaves part … Continue reading “Divorce is partial soul amputation.”