Thou shalt not commit adultery. -Exodus 20:14, KJV Christians need not dig very deep to figure out what went wrong in a marriage when adultery occurred. Modern psychology and so called “Christian” counseling might disagree with me. However, I am very adamant that we do not treat adultery as a side issue or symptom to … Continue reading “What went wrong? Adulterous abuse is what.”
Category: Theology of divorce
Thou Shalt NOT Divorce?!
Thou shalt not commit adultery. -Exodus 20:14, KJV The way many pastors preach about divorce you would be forgiven if you thought this verse from the Ten Commandments read: “Thou shalt not divorce!” This is a problem. It means we have a poor theology of marriage and divorce in our churches. Victims of adultery are … Continue reading “Thou Shalt NOT Divorce?!”
Friend like the ones Job had
After the Lord had finished speaking to Job, he said to Eliphaz the Temanite: “I am angry with you and your two friends, for you have not spoken accurately about me….” -Job 42:7a, NLT THAT “friend” said all sort of things to you… …they were inaccurate about God (and you) just like Job’s friends. Sometimes this is … Continue reading “Friend like the ones Job had”
PSA: The real shame is committing adultery, Pastors!
But a man who commits adultery has no sense; whoever does so destroys himself. Blows and disgrace are his lot, and his shame will never be wiped away. -Proverbs 6:32-33, NIV The real shame is not faithful spouses divorcing cheaters, pastors. The real shame is Christians committing adultery! Preaching or counseling against divorce is a little late when it comes … Continue reading “PSA: The real shame is committing adultery, Pastors!”
Souls are my focus!
“For when the dead rise, they will neither marry nor be given in marriage. In this respect they will be like the angels in heaven.” -Matthew 22:30, NLT We were not made for human marriage. Our eternal relationship is primarily with God. We were designed to worship and serve Him like the angels. Some pastors … Continue reading “Souls are my focus!”
An “innocent party” in divorce?
Is there such thing as an “innocent party” in a divorce? Yes. I struggled with this question when fighting to retain my minister’s license years ago. Psycho-babble (and evil along with it) is winning when we cannot identify or distinguish between the innocent party and the perpetrator. Now, I understand those who say we all … Continue reading “An “innocent party” in divorce?”
Why bother?
Why bother working on a marriage where one party is treating cheating as a secondary issue? Your cheater (and anyone supporting them) is telling you how little they value your well-being when they treat the affair(s) as secondary or derivative issues to the marriage. They are deprioritizing your healing. You cannot “fix” this. The Bible … Continue reading “Why bother?”
Familiar abusive approach
“I don’t want to hear any more about what he did to you. What we need to talk about is your NEED to forgive!” -Christian “friend” Some Christians seemed flummoxed by the faithful spouse’s recoil at such a response to their situation. What these “friends” fail to see is what they actually saying and doing … Continue reading “Familiar abusive approach”
I don’t see divorce as the problem.
The problem is adultery. The problem is abuse and deception. The problem is sin. Divorce is a just a poor proxy to these problems. I understand the concern about the pain divorce brings. It is an unpleasant experience. However, sometimes we have to go through an unpleasant experience to escape an even worse experience–i.e. an … Continue reading “I don’t see divorce as the problem.”
Hold fast to truth!
“Everyone on the side of truth listens to me.” -John 18:37b, NIV Truth: You did not drive your spouse to cheat (and abandon you). Truth: You do not deserve to be abused, (and cheating is abuse.) Truth: Divorcing a cheater is not sin. Truth: Divorcing an unrepentant cheater is not dooming your kids; rather, you … Continue reading “Hold fast to truth!”