Sharing only testimonies of reconciled and restored marriages following adultery… feeds false hope in “reconciliation” for faithful spouses dealing with unrepentant cheaters. Show of hands. How many here thought their marriage was going to “make it” and then you would have a testimony about marriage reconciliation to share with others? I know I did. The … Continue reading “Feeding False Hope In “Reconciliation””
Category: Theology of divorce
Where are the godly divorced testimonies?
Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly. -Matthew 1:19, NIV And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; … Continue reading “Where are the godly divorced testimonies?”
Ask: Where is the loving much?
“Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.” -Luke 7:47, NIV The amount of gratitude ought to match the amount forgiven. This is one lesson I take from Jesus’ teaching in this verse. And it is an important spiritual lesson … Continue reading “Ask: Where is the loving much?”
Cheater-Speak: “What went wrong between us?”
Cheater: “What went wrong between us?” Faithful Spouse: “That’s obvious: The bar trash you were banging is ‘what went wrong between us.’” The cheater-requested marriage autopsy: “What went wrong between us?” When adultery has occurred along the path to divorce, what ended the marriage ought not to be a mystery to any Bible-literate individual. God … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “What went wrong between us?””
On Cheater Requests To Meet Up Post-Divorce
For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? -2 Corinthians 6:14b, NIV Cheaters requesting post-divorce meetups is such a strange phenomenon to me. I know from reading others’ experiences that this is a real phenomenon. My cheater wanted to meet up after the fact (see post here). … Continue reading “On Cheater Requests To Meet Up Post-Divorce”
A Shotgun Wasn’t There!
Just say a simple, ‘Yes, I will,’ or ‘No, I won’t.’ Anything beyond this is from the evil one. -Matthew 5:37, NLT When cheaters talk about being “trapped” in their marriage, I have little sympathy. Of course, I am willing to grant that they are experiencing “trapped” feelings. But to suggest the faithful spouse is the cause of … Continue reading “A Shotgun Wasn’t There!”
On Warm Baths and Nice Kitties
This time the dove returned to him in the evening with a fresh olive leaf in its beak. Then Noah knew that the floodwaters were almost gone. -Genesis 8:11, NLT Cheaters are already too central. As faithful spouses, we make them central for several very good reasons: 1) They are central because some of us … Continue reading “On Warm Baths and Nice Kitties”
Escaping to Romantic Fantasyland
“This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.’” -Proverbs 30:20, NIV It is pointless to engage in “reconciliation” efforts while a partner continues cheating. You are wasting time and treasure. The worst piece of advice I got was to take my focus off … Continue reading “Escaping to Romantic Fantasyland”
“The Sin of Divorce” Language
“The Sin of Divorce” Language matters. Distinctions matter. Context matters. All of these are reasons for why I dislike the phrase “the sin of divorce.” It fails theologically and pastorally on many levels. My hope is that those who teach on divorce in the church stop using it altogether. The biggest issue I have with … Continue reading ““The Sin of Divorce” Language”
Easter-Death Is NOT The End!
“He is not here; he has risen!” -Luke 24:6a, NIV Today, we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave. It is Resurrection Sunday. One lesson from Resurrection Sunday is that death is not the end. It is merely the beginning of life for those who are in Christ. Sin and death do not get the last … Continue reading “Easter-Death Is NOT The End!”