“You should be grateful… …that we allowed you to keep your ministerial credentials.” -A Denominational Official/Pastor While not an actual direct quote from someone, I did encountered this sort of sentiment when dealing with evangelical pastors regarding my divorce and profession. Such thinking was “justified” usually by referring to the sub-culture where old-school, (fundamentalist), evangelical denominations … Continue reading “You Should Be Grateful…”
Category: Theology of divorce
Mailbag: “‘Feeling self-righteous and morally superior is a big trap.'”
Today, Chump Lady sent me this comment from her blog highlighting some rather awful advice given by a minister to a faithful spouse: I am so glad to read this post and all the replies tonight. I had an email exchange with my (former) minister earlier today that really frustrated me. I reached out to … Continue reading “Mailbag: “‘Feeling self-righteous and morally superior is a big trap.’””
Mars Hill Church, Mark Driscoll, and My First Marriage
“But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.” -I Timothy 5:8, KJV “And whoever does not provide for relatives, and especially for family members, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” – I … Continue reading “Mars Hill Church, Mark Driscoll, and My First Marriage”
“Broken” Home Shaming
Father to the fatherless, defender of widows— this is God, whose dwelling is holy. God places the lonely in families; he sets the prisoners free and gives them joy. But he makes the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land. -Psalm 68:5-6, NLT “Broken” Home Shaming I call it “Broken Home Shaming” because I notice how … Continue reading ““Broken” Home Shaming”
Stacked Deck
Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed. Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice. -Proverbs 31:8-9, NLT When you have just discovered your spouse of x years has cheated on you, it is hard to make good choices and not … Continue reading “Stacked Deck”
It’s the choices, Stupid!
“A good man out of the good treasure of the heart bringeth forth good things: and an evil man out of the evil treasure bringeth forth evil things. But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.” -Matthew 12:35-36, KJV Follow … Continue reading “It’s the choices, Stupid!”
Destructive Narrative: Horny Christian Husbands
The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. – I Corinthians 7:3, NLT So much I was taught about marriage and sexuality growing up in the evangelical church pit husbands against wives in regards to sex in a marriage. Almost always, I heard stories that cast the … Continue reading “Destructive Narrative: Horny Christian Husbands”
Returning Victims To Their Soul Rapists
Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.” … Continue reading “Returning Victims To Their Soul Rapists”
Love may wait…but it does not guarantee happily ever after!
I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn. – I Corinthians 7:8-9, KJV Love may wait to have sex… …but waiting does not guarantee your marriage will not … Continue reading “Love may wait…but it does not guarantee happily ever after!”
I don’t want YOU to work it out…
“I don’t want you to work it out… …if your adulterous spouse is unrepentant. I simply do not.” I wish more pastors would take this stance and verbalize it to their congregants. It is very Biblical (e.g. Jeremiah 3:8, Ezekiel 18:20, 2 Corinthians 5:10, Matthew 19:9, Hebrews 13:4, etc.). However, I am aware that for some pastors … Continue reading “I don’t want YOU to work it out…”