“From the least to the greatest, all are greedy for gain; prophets and priests alike, all practice deceit. They dress the wound of my people as though it were not serious. ‘Peace, peace,’ they say, when there is no peace. Are they ashamed of their detestable conduct? No, they have no shame at all; they … Continue reading “Pastors Need To Say It”
Category: Theology of divorce
Dangerous Duggar Marital Sex Advice
This past Thursday, October 8th, 2015, Michelle Duggar–of reality show “19 Kids and Counting” fame–responded to fan mail asking for advice. She was particularly tackling the fan question of advice for a newlywed wife, Jill. Here’s the post. Before I went through my divorce, I might have agreed with everything Michelle writes in this post, … Continue reading “Dangerous Duggar Marital Sex Advice”
Why would you throw all that away?
On oath Esau traded away his rights as the firstborn. Jacob gave him bread and the stew of lentils. He ate and drank, got up and left. That’s how Esau shrugged off his rights as the firstborn. – Genesis 25:33b-34 (THE MESSAGE) “Why would you just throw away _x_ number of years of marriage?!” Obviously, … Continue reading “Why would you throw all that away?”
I didn’t have the words…
I didn’t have the words… …all I felt was incredible anger towards my (now) ex-Father-In-Law. That was my emotional state when I last encountered my xFIL. I did not have the words to articulate why I was so angry with him. My spirit screamed within me that this man was evil and had wronged me gravely. But … Continue reading “I didn’t have the words…”
People’s Criticisms Say A Lot…
In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, But he who restrains his lips is wise. -Proverbs 10:19, NKJV People’s criticisms say a lot… …but not necessarily anything about the one criticized. This is a lesson impressed upon me during my formal training in clinical pastoral care. It is an important lesson to remember … Continue reading “People’s Criticisms Say A Lot…”
Breaking Up With Your Church
Forgive the corny Oldies reference here. I grew up listening to this sort of music as a kid, and I could not help but think of the opening line when processing this–albeit–serious topic of leaving a church. Breaking up is truly a hard thing to do. This past week Mrs. DM and I decided we needed to … Continue reading “Breaking Up With Your Church”
Innocence Lost
DM on his first wedding day (2006) None of my immediate family experienced divorce. We were a sheltered family system–i.e. from grandparents down to first cousins. Divorce had not visited its devastation directly upon us. That was until my marriage was shot in the head on December 12, 2012. I was raised that marriage was … Continue reading “Innocence Lost”
Why Do Only Cheaters Get “The Benefit Of The Doubt?”
Do not listen to an accusation against an elder unless it is confirmed by two or three witnesses. Those who sin should be reprimanded in front of the whole church; this will serve as a strong warning to others. – I Timothy 5:19-20, NLT Why do only adulterous spouses get the benefit of the doubt … Continue reading “Why Do Only Cheaters Get “The Benefit Of The Doubt?””
Presumption of Causation With Divorce
How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s … Continue reading “Presumption of Causation With Divorce”
Not Relevant To Congregation?!
“Thou shalt not commit adultery.” –God in Exodus 20:14, KJV According to a website drawing its numbers from the Associated Press plus Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 41% of marriages have minimally one spouse who admits to emotional and/or physical infidelity. Infidelity is a problem. And it is not a minor one. Scripture is clear that … Continue reading “Not Relevant To Congregation?!”