“Why did she HAVE TO leave?”

– Cheater Apologist

This is a loaded question. 

If you even attempt to answer the question, you will lose. No good way to answer this question exist.

It is like the classic loaded question: “When will you stop beating your wife?”

Like this question assuming that you are beating your wife, the first question assumes she HAD TO leave you. Both start with a false assumption or premise.

But if you tried to answer them, you would be agreeing to the false premise.

Another problem with the question: “Why did she have to leave you?” is that it encourages us to mind-read. The decision was made by another. Their state of mind is not available to another human.

If one is genuinely interested in the reasoning behind that decision, they ought to ask the one making said decision.

Another reason I object to this line of questioning is how it strikes me as abusive. It is like an abuser asking his victim:

“Now tell me: Why did I have to hit you?“

Such questioning is cruel. It is salting the fresh wound of abandonment and rejection.

Don’t engage the question.

“I am not going to answer that question. You are not seeking information but my acceptance of your cruel condemnation. Pride is a deadly sin, and by asking me this question, I can tell you need to repent of it.”

 

 

*A version of this post ran previously.